His Unknown Daughter.-James Potter

Chapter 37

Carina's POV

Ginny left my room and I got up. I changed my clothes and put the drink away and walked downstairs. They all saw my about to leave. "Carina where are you going. Said Dad." "Out see you guys later." I walked out before they could say anything. I went to Mattheo gravestone and Draco's too. I sat by their headstones. "Hey guys it's me haven't been here." I stayed quiet for a while. "Ginny told me you where you guys were buried at." I pulled out my drink. "I know I know but what can I say my sister just died." I drank some. Little did I know their was people listening to me. I stood up and poured some on their headstones. "One last drink because we didn't do our what did Rose call hot girl summer." I laughed a little and drank some more.

I laid in the middle of their headstones. I drank some more of the drink. "But I'm gonna go back to school and make you all proud." I drank some more. "I don't know if you could hear me or not but I really miss you guys it use to be 5 now it's down to 2." I stayed quiet for a minute. "Tom I know he ain't gonna make it back from this. He lost Rose and his child I know he won't make it like I am. And if he does do it I'm not gonna be mad I'll be happy he got to see you guys again. I'll be sad because I'll miss you guys but I'm gonna try for you guys and do this hot girl summer Rose wanted to do." I laughed a little a tear slid down my face. "Because I'm a galaxy and you guys are my guardians." I laughed. "Cheesy I know but we are the guardians of the galaxy and theirs just one standing now. I love you guys god I wish I got to see you one last time." Another tear slid down. "But I'm gonna do right by our name and I'm gonna go back to school and make you guys proud. I don't know if I will make it but I'm gonna try because I don't know if I can do it. My dad and the others they are trying really hard but I don't want to fight anymore I just want to see you guys god I really wish I could see you guys one last time." More tears slid down. "I don't know if you guys are watching me or not Theo your probably would've said bitch stop being depressed and get your fat ass up. Then Draco would probably would've jumped on me just so I could get up." I smiled at the thought of it. "Ginny came to talk to me earlier I promised I would stop but it's the only thing helping me from feeling everything." I sat up and sat infront of the headstones. "I don't want to feel anything anymore because if I do it's just gonna hurt. I started to take my meds again so that's a start right." I looked down at the ground and pulled the grass. "God I want to think of an answer for them but if I do I know I'll cry and I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself it hurts and I just want it to stop hurting." I drank some more. "I remember when you and i first met Theo you bumped into me and we argued over who bumped into each other while the others just laughed. Then when you helped me after that day I knew I could count on you forever that's when you became my best friend." I looked back down. "You promised me that it wasn't gonna happen again well I guess it did Theo." I started to cry a little. "I wish you are here to help me out of the hole I dugged myself in and it's like I can't get myself out of it." I'm trying to not to cry. " Today I had an actual smile not a fake one then it all came down when Tom called me to tell me about Rose. God I remember when I saw that he was calling I felt something wrong I was like God please don't say it then when he told me to go to the hospital and when I saw Rose my world came crashing down." I started to cry. "My sister my best friend who's been their for me through everything died and I couldn't do anything. I remembered this one time we were in our second year we looked exactly alike and people thought we were twins all day people kept asking are you guys twins. It got to the point where we started to say yes well she said it first then I knew I found my person my sister." I drank some more. "She took me to our dorm room and told me she would rather have me as a sister then her own. We always did everything together. I remember when she found out she was pregnant I screamed well we both did. I was going to be her child's godmother along with as the godfather because apparently me and you we're ment to be that's what Rose said." I wiped my face and laughed. "God I remember when you fell down my stairs that's when i knew you were falling for me." I started to laugh. "Cheesy huh I told Rose and we laughed. But I always knew we were ment to be but never said anything and I regret not saying anything because we could've have the best years of our life. If I could back and change it I would do it a thousand times just to have you in my arms one last time. But now I hope your at peace because I keep think it's my fault because it feels like it is." I looked back down. "I keep blaming myself for your guys death. Even tho it ain't but I can't help but feel guilty because I am guilty if you guys would've been with me you wouldn't be dead right now you would be alive. God I couldn't even go to your guys funeral because I was stuck in that horrible place." I started to cry again and drank some more. "But I couldn't have save you guys either my mom's dead my uncle is to you guys Rose is dead god Tommy might be dead to I don't know I honestly don't know anymore. I just hope you guys don't feel any pain anymore just hope your happy now and free." I inhaled deeply. " I miss you guys deeply wish you were here with me. I need you guys I really need you guys this time because I don't know if they can help me this time and I want to fight for them I really do but I don't know if I could this time it's hard and it hurts it even hurts to breath sometimes. The only thing that kept me going was god I get to finally see my godchild but now they are both gone and now I don't what to do without them. I wanted to be able to watch her grow up be the cool aunt like take her to get her first tattoo because we all know Rose was the mom of the group. Now it's all gone before I even got to see or say goodbye. If I knew the day we left school was gonna be the last time I saw you I would've spent the entire day with you. But I missed out on it. All I know if Rose name her daughter was Elizabeth Carina Riddle god we all know if she has my name in it and Riddle as a last name she's gonna be trouble because I would've help her with the trouble." I laughed more and I notice it was getting dark. " I miss you guys and I'm sorry for not being able to save you guy's wish I could see you one last time. But I needed to do this because I don't know when I will come here I love you guys." I drank the drink and looked at it. "Oh well I finished it what did we always do Theo." I threw the bottle at a tree. "Like tradition right." I broke down and started to cry. "I need you guys and it hurts because you aren't here it's only been a year without you guys and it hurts like hell I don't know if I could do this anymore." I started to cry more. "I-I I just need all the pain to go it hurts and I can't stop it from hurting and if I do I'm gonna hurt the other's because if I stop it I'm just not gonna want to feel pain and I don't want them to go through all that pain either I already put them through enough pain as it is." I started to cry more. "God but it's time I head back I don't want them to worry about me." I got up and dusted myself off. "To the next time always and forever my luvs." I walked back home.