missed the moon and stars.

hope.

    i think having hope is beautiful. why? because you have a desire. you have expectations. you have wishes.
     for a really long time, i didnt have hope. it was nonexistent. i never hoped for good, or for happiness of my own. i was always stuck in a loop of misery. then the door opened, and in came in the things i lacked.
                     happiness & love.
                     confidence & hope.
but that door now closes slowly.
                                                      why?
  you see. all that came through the door was temporary. as some things are.
    my whole life, happiness & love have been temporary. and that's okay. it shows me that whatever was making me happy at the moment, was not for me as it did not bring me full, permanent joy.
     it only means my search for what i seek has not ended.
and although, sometimes the journey seems long and never ending. the journey will end when you finally realize what it is that you seeked.
      as for you. i thought you were what i seeked, but it does not appear that way. as all the happiness & love that was once there, has now been drained.
                                    and that's okay.
              it means we are not for each other.
                                    and that's okay.
              things do not always work out.
                                    and that's okay.
    but the issue is that although the happiness & love have been drained, i hold on by the little hope i have left and the faint strings that we each carry.
      we all carry strings. and each human connection we have, is a string that has someone attached at the end.
but the string with me attached at its end is ripping apart and is slowly becoming nonexistent. i am falling.
           i know the fall will hurt if i were to let go.
  but with the little hope i have left, i try to create a stronger bond in hopes of love & happiness flooding again.