Distinctive Lyrics

Cleanse My Body, My Mind

I fear that I will always live in isolation and insecurity, but when I cleanse my body, my mind...my fantasies are real and I'm forgetting my reality.

Wash, exfoliate, scrub, rub, wipe, cleanse, rinse all the resentment and regrets of my life. Past and present, heartache and humiliation. So as the soap is reintroduce to the skin, the process has begin. My secret sanctuary, all privacy I have as I step in to the bathroom. Sashaying with the left leg first then right across the cold black & white checkerboard tiles. I must feel good but I think it's temporary insanity. I enter the tub with the hot water sprinkling down to the floor & I'm feeling the burning sensation, so I'm a woman scorned. Tears cascading down my face because of the pain I feel right now. I'm going to cleanse my mind, body and soul. Wash, exfoliate, scrub, rub, wipe, rinse & cleanse....

No need to worry about make up being ruined because it's waterproof & always there; yet it's invisible like I'm a cosmetic section in a local pharmacy. An unofficial CoverGirl and this is my advertisement, Mac's spokeswoman with Revlon's flair and Maybelline's style. Darkness of my eyelashes represent Midnight Black mascara. Tears forming at the rim of my eyelids like liquid eyeliner, running down my face and covering my lips like lipgloss. The flavor of Salty Sadness from bittersweet memories. Semi-permanent dark circles under my eyes like some kind of discolored powder foundation. Courtesy of the sleepless nights of worrying and hopeful change. I'm always dolled up like I'm a Barbie unfortunately. Praises to Nicki Minaj though.

Wash, exfoliate, scrub, rub, wipe, rinse, cleanse my mind. Ambi, St. Ives & African Black Soap massages my skin and ends up a facial mask like I'm in a masquerade party. With the costume custom made & designed by store brand body wash. Special edition.

Oatmeal Milk & Honey...mmm my favorite so there is no need to explain,but in simple terms; I'm cool, calm and collected. Just mellowed out.

Sometimes, feeling sensual & delicate for Vanilla like the color of my orgasmic pleasure. An creamy ivory or crystal water down white makes me think of sex. For a aphrodisiac, I'm a seductress as I fantasize being pleasured by my man and relaxing in a warm bubble bath that he created. Decorated with scented candles and incense.

Cherry Blossom, Himalayan Salt, Cranberry and Strawberries & Cream for a substitute...if I want to imagine being taken to a tropical paradise. A private island somewhere with no distractions. The scenery filled with palm trees, tan stained sand & sheer blue water where I can float on top of it wearing a one piece or naked if I choose to. Letting the Sun warm my body, giving me a caramelized glow as I eat mangos and try coconuts for the first time. Nicely complimented with a Strawberry Daiquiri mixed with Vodka. Oh so fruity!. Sipping slowly, but I have a low tolerance so blame it on the alcohol. While I wind my body slowly to an imaginary beat in my mind and showing that these forty four inch hips don't lie as I embrace my West Indian roots: Guyanese & Barbadian. I'm looking sexy and exotic.

Daydreaming surrounds my mind as I'm thinking about my desires. I'm desperately yearning for each of them to come true. As I picture my body being pampered, scented, moisturized, catered to. I'm feeling lovely and you can't tell me nothing...when I wash, exfoliate, scrub, rub, wipe, rinse. Cleanse my body, my mind . "So fresh, so clean" but no Andre 3000 can't touch this. Sorry fellas y'all can't touch this. All good things come to end...when the water turns cold, my flesh does too and then it becomes a chain reaction. My heart and mind is numb, soul is frozen; It's in need to thraw out and defrost when reality sets in. Please come back serenity.

It doesn't and my fantasies are gone as the miserable truth sinks in. Disappear like when the razor is on my skin like a machete. Cutting it to shreds like confetti with blood running down as if I'm on my menstrual. Penetration deep enough to leave scars as I'm suicidal. The endless tears again of why I'm existing instead of living, why I'm confined to this house like I'm confined to Depression. The frequent trips to therapy and the mandatory medicine for years. Just stressing ,uncontrollable mood swings from feisty, and angry to sad & shy. The self disappointment of a scarred heart and mind.

Wash, exfoliate, scrub, rub, exhilarate, wipe, rinse, cleanse my body and mind. Just cleanse like my own personal baptism. Replenishing my sins and dissolving my fears. Partially content when I remember the sweet aromas of mellow Oatmeal Milk & Honey, sensual Vanilla and exotic Himalayan Salt. Store or name brand, it doesn't matter. Both leaves my skin soothingly pampered, scented, moisturized, satisfied. I'm feeling lovely and you can't tell me nothing.

You can't... I found a few moments of peace, away from everything and everyone's expectations & misconceptions of me including mines. When I cleanse my body, my mind.