Hidden behind closed doors

Part Sixteen

Harper's POV

"Fuck" you whisper under your breath you open the bathroom door shouting towards the door "who is it?" Theres was a hesitant reply before her voice came through the other side of the door. "It's Natasha" you bite your bottom lip. She never used her full name around you especially if she knocked the door. "Come in"

You watch the wooden door open slowly fall open as the redhead stands at the door way. She makes her way inside your room twiddling her thumbs before shutting the door.

"hi" her voice was small as she took a seat on your bed. You stood agains the door frame of the bathroom relying with a "hey" your voice was soft and calm.

You watch Nat's face. How upset she looked. She bit her bottom lip as she attempted to suppress her sobs but failed. Instantly you ran over to her holding her in your arms as she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry" she repeated over and over again the tears freely falling from her eyes. "Hey, hey baby, it's okay. Please tell me what's wrong" you attempt to call her your left hand gently rubbing circles on her back. As your other hand was holding hers.

You gave her a few minutes to call herself down, you whispered calming, comforting things in her ear while watching her wipe away her tears. Once she has stopped sobbing, she took her head out of your chest and looked up at you. Her eyes dodged yours as she tried to look at anything other then you. Your left hand was removed from her back as you placed it on her cheek wiping away the stray tear that fell from her bloody shot eyes.

"Please tell me what's going on" you whisper, desiring to know what was upsetting her so much. You hated to see her in such a state. "Baby please" you plead creasing her cheek.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. In the red room where I was trained where I was raised." She paused for a second taking a deep breath closing her eyes as she continued "they have this graduation ceremony" her eye opened back up but they diverted to the floor as she moved her head causing your hand to be removed from her face.

"They sterilise you" a few more tears rolled out her eyes. You where in shock. You had no idea that Nat couldn't have kids. You had never spoken about it before. No one else had told you either. "It's efficient, meant to be one less thing to worry about" she continued to speak her voice becoming weaker.

"The one thing that might matter more then a mission. It makes everything easier" her breath shaky as her leg started to bounce up and down nervously a few more tears spilling from her eyes.

"Even killing" She grasped her right hand in her left holding it tightly before turning to you and looking you in the eye. "Don't you think I'm a monster?"

"N-Nat" your eyes where glassed over as tears filled them. You reach out to hold her hand but she pulls away. "Baby" you whisper gently capturing her hand in yours creasing the back of it with your thumb.

"I'm so so sorry you had to go through that" a single tear falls from your eye. "Your not a monster. Your not" your bring her hand up to your mouth and kiss it. "Your so unbelievably strong for telling me I understand how hard that was for you to do. I'm sorry that I acted like that last night. I shouldn't of taken it to heart as much as I did. I'm sorry"

Nat's eyes fall on yours as she tears up again, "y-y-ou still want to be with me?" Another year falls from your eye as you laugh slightly. "Natasha darling, I wouldn't give you up for the world. You mean so much to me. I don't care if we don't have kids or if I carry them or if we adopt. I don't care if we live in New York or California or in the middle of bloody no where. Baby I just care about you. I just want you" Tears fall from both yours and Natasha's eyes, you lean your forehead against hers. You close the gap capturing her lips in your kissing her passionately. The kiss tasting of salty tears and strawberry lipgloss.