Balcony [KTH] [COMING EVENTUALLY]

I

Princess Lee Na-Rae could not get to sleep.

Her insomnia was something she'd dealt with for as long as she could remember, but in the last couple of months, it had become dangerous. When she was awake, especially in the evening, she would think. And they were never good thoughts.

Deep in the middle of the night was when those little whispers would float in and flit around in her headspace. Every morning, the first thing she would do would be to remind herself that everything they said was a lie. But far after midnight, when the darkness clung to the world like a heavy cotton cloak, that was so hard to remember.

It was especially bad tonight. She groaned and detangled herself from the sheets, then rolled out of bed to pace her bedroom floor. Back. Forth. Back. Forth.

Finally, she found herself drifting towards the window. The glass door slid automatically to the side, and she stepped out onto the balcony. The moon hung, huge and low, over the horizon of towering skyscrapers covered in tiny gold and blue lights. Far below her, snake-like trains wound through the twisted streets. Just like always, she craned her neck to peer up.

But just like always, the sky was a sluggish gray, all of the stars blocked out by a curtain of smog. The wind rose up and blew the smell of fossil fuels right into her face. She inhaled the toxic air and felt grime coat the inside of her mouth. Choking, she retreated back into her room.

It was a nice bedroom, she supposed. The floor was made of smooth wooden planks. The walls were one giant screen, which shifted soothingly with millions of shades of teal and gray. There was a desk in the corner, every inch of it covered in papers and technology. Near the large bed was the door to the closet. Other than that, it was bare.

As soon as she was back inside of it, with the constant sound of the city blocked out, the voices started creeping their way back in. They wound their tendrils through her consciousness, tugging and tightening it until it was a knot, an impossible maze.

It's your fault Father is so stressed all the time, because you're constantly worrying him with your petty concerns.

It's your fault the people are dropping like flies, because as a royal, it's your job to come up with ways to fix the atmosphere and you're failing miserably.

It's your fault Mother is dead, because you noticed her lungs failing and you didn't saying anything.

Your fault.

Your fault.

Always, always your fault, Na-Rae.

And besides, this place is slowly murdering you, isn't it? You can feel it. Not just the hurricanes that come closer and closer to pulling down the palace every time. Not just the fumes poisoning your insides. You've never belonged here, always felt trapped, inadequate. At this point, is your pitiful life even worth living?

But the one that really caught her attention...

Did you know that in the afterlife, there are stars?

She didn't even realize that she had gone back outside again, until she started coughing uncontrollably. When, at long last, it stopped, a few drops of blood adorned the hand she'd used to cover her mouth.

As if in a trance, she reached out for the smooth marble railing. Slowly, robotically, she pulled herself up until she was balancing on it, one foot in front of the other. Her arms extended gracefully to either side of her, her long silk nightgown caught the breeze. A peaceful smile danced its way onto her face.

Bathed in moonlight, she let herself tip to the side.

And then there was nothing beneath her, and she was falling, hurtling to the ground ten stories below. Death was waiting, and she welcomed it. She wondered what the response would be. Would the people of the kingdom mourn her? Would they say that they were glad she was gone? Or would they be too busy surviving to really care?

She was falling, and then she wasn't.

The moment of descent had seemed to last forever, but in reality, it hadn't even been half a second. A large, veined hand clutched her wrist as she dangled freely in midair. 

Curiously, she followed the hand up its arm to its shoulder and then to the face of the only thing between her and the end she wanted so badly. What she found took her breath away. He was easily the most beautiful thing she'd ever laid eyes upon. His hair, like everybody else's she had ever seen, was unhealthy and streaked with filth, but his eyes went straight to her soul, and his jawline was enough to make a seventy-year-old man drop dead.

How was it possible for someone to look like that? He was ethereal, some sort of being that belonged in a place with flowers and families and blue skies and stars. He was also furious.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" he spat.

Na-Rae was so transfixed by his face that it took her a while to realize that he had spoken. He asked me a question and I didn't respond. Father would be so disappointed in me.

So she replied, with the first thing that came into her mind. "I'm looking for the stars."

There was something off about her voice, she realized. She sounded tired, dreamy, and more than a little insane. Maybe she was.

The anger on his face was almost immediately replaced with pity, kindness, concern, and several other emotions that her clouded brain couldn't recognize but most likely didn't belong in an eat-or-be-eaten kind of world like the one they lived in. "C'mon, let's get you up, princess."

"Noooo," she whined, "I want to see the stars."

He laughed and started pulling. Her heart sped up. She wasn't ready to go back to the real world, a place where everyone would be even more embarrassed by her than they already were, once they found out what was happening. That one moment of free-fall had been so delightful. She wanted that, and then the blackness, and then the galaxies.

Once again, his expression shifted. How interesting. He had so many different looks he could wear. Maybe somebody would do a study on them and then find her in the afterlife and let her know what the results were.

"Stop thrashing," he cried out in alarm, holding on to her as tightly as he could. "I'm trying to help you!"

He felt his grasp starting to slip. An idea came into his head, and he prayed to the gods that it would work. If it didn't, he wouldn't have enough time to try another. "How about this? If you let me bring you back up here and go to bed and get plenty of sleep and promise to me to never try to kill yourself again, I'll come back tomorrow night and take you somewhere where you can see the night sky."

The boy was speaking so fast that some of his words came out practically on top of each other, but Na-Rae seemed to understand. She stopped her flailing in the air. The muscles in his arms flexed attractively as he hauled her up over the railing with a grunt.

All of her energy suddenly gone, she sagged against his chest. And the person she'd never met before wrapped his arms around her in an embrace, gently rocking her back and forth and whispering comforting things in her ear.

As her exhaustion started to pull her away, she mumbled, "What's your name? Father would be outraged to know I haven't asked yet."

"It's okay, my dear. The circumstances were special.

"It's Taehyung, by the way."

--
I'm sure the grammar is incredibly bad and the plot is all over the place and the description is nonexistent but it's like 11:30 as I'm writing this aghhhhhhh. I promise I'll do better with the next one. Anyways, if someone actually is reading this, is this a good chapter length? What are your thoughts so far?