TW: mentions of bullying, mentions of rape, mentions of death, mentions of panic attack and suicidal thoughts.
A week before the day
Megumi's POV
"Are you going to work today?" the brunette girl asks has we both make our way out of the school gates
"No, I'm just going to pick Itadori up" I answer in my usual monotone voice running a hand through my hair.
"I'll go with you, Maki is going to have another two classes so I need to kill some time"
I nod and we both make our way towards Itadori's school
"How is he holding up?" she asks not looking at me, instead keeping her eyes on the path.
"To be honest not well" I murmur letting out a breath and looking at the sky "He has been having a lot of nightmares...waking up in the middle of the night having panic attacks and refusing to get out of bed in the morning..."
He was supposed to get better...
"So the therapist isn't helping?" she asks kicking a small rock.
"I don't know. She told me I can't go to the sessions anymore after a few months of me going with him"
I honestly don't think she is helping...Gojo said she helped Geto when he was in a bad phase but still... That might have been as a friend not as a therapist.
"You guys have been dating for what? Two years? Why doesn't he talk to you about it instead of some random woman"
That's a good question. One I've asked myself a bunch of times over and over every time I catch him crying or having a panic attack... I just want him to talk to me
"I can't force him...When I asked him that, he told me he didn't wanted me to be worried and that if he spoke to me about it he would feel like a burden"
I rub my clothed arm controlling myself from scratching it. We also talked about that, had some fights about it, about him trying to tell me to go to a therapist as well... I juts can't... Not yet. I need to focus on him right now. I'm fine, I've always been fine.
"Maybe we should hang out sometime. You know, to clear the mood" she suggested smiling a little "Like good old times"
She is right we haven't in some time... Ita seems to like it a lot, maybe we should do that... I'll ask him.
"Sure" I answer simply as we both stop in front of the university gates watching as the pink haired boy comes in our direction as soon as he spots us.
"Hey guys"
I get a light kiss on the cheek by my boyfriend and he and Kugisaki do a kind of strange handshake that they invented.
I roll my eyes smiling at the scene and after a few minutes of watching them catch up on the conversation, she returned to our university and Yuji and I started our way back home.
As we walked I noticed that he was rubbing his shoulder in an uncomfortable way so when we got to the train and he sat next to me I decided to ask
"Did something happen to your shoulder?"
He gets tense at my question, but quickly relaxes giving an uncomfortable smile
"It's nothing, don't worry"
He always says that... It just worries me more...
I decided not to press the subject for now...At night I'll ask again.
~~~
"How are things going with the therapist?" I ask the boy sitting on our bed, while taking off my shirt to put on the pijamas.
"Normal..." he replies without taking his eyes off the book.
He's been on that page for about 15 minutes.
Something is bothering him.
After getting dressed, I lift the blankets sitting on the bed.
He, as usual, moves slightly forward so that I can seat behind him and he can lean his back against my chest.
"Talk to me..." I ask in a whisper, running a hand through his hair a leaving a small kiss on his neck.
He says nothing, just continues to look at the book's page.
"Do you remember what you said in our first fight?" he keeps silent
"You told me you would be honest with me..." he keeps quiet but this time I see a tear wet the page of the book.
"Babe..." I say in a calming tone taking the book of his hands, putting it in the little nightstand next to us and hugging him.
"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore" he cries using his hands to cover his face
"Babe, please tell me what's going on..."
I whisper resting my chin on his shoulder but quickly lift my head when he flinches with touch.
He turns away slightly without looking at me and uncovers his shoulder to show some cigarette burns...I look shocked at the marks on his body.
How come I didn't notice this?
On top of that, it's not just the new ones, but there are also some that look very old.
What the hell happened?
"Junpei used to be bullied" he says letting out a sob "After his death, his bullies said they needed someone new to play with and that as I was the only person who was friends with Junpei that I would serve"
This time he covers his ears with his hands lowering his face slightly and closing his eyes.
"I'm tired Megumi" he cries "I'm so tired. I just want this to stop. I want Sukuna's voice to shut up when I look in the mirror. I want to stop felling Mahito's hands on me every nigth before I fall asleep. I want the nightmares about Junpei's death to stop."
A tear runs down my cheek when I see my boyfriend break in front of me like this.
None of the other times were like that.
It looked worse, much worse. Like he means every word...
"I just want it all to stop" he rests his head on my chest and I put an arm around him carefully so as not to touch the wounds.
"I'm here" I whisper as he finally uncovers his ears letting his hands fall by is side.
After a few minutes he finally raises his head to look at me and I carefully caress his face.
"Next week I am going with you and we will talk about this with the therapist..." I think that is the only thing I can do at this moment.I hate the fact that I can't help him more "You're not alone...I will be with you...always."
He doesn't respond.
After a few minutes he just reaches out slightly, turning off the lamp and looking at me as if he expects me to lie down.
And so I did. He lays down on my chest while I drew light patterns on his back
"I love you Yuji" I whisper receiving a small cry as an answer.
I don't care that he doesn't say it back. I just need him to know that...
YOU ARE READING
Fill the silence | Itafushi
Random"As most of you know, my name is Fushiguro, I am... or I was...Yuji's boyfriend... and this is the story about how I found and lost my first love..." these were the first words he said, as he stood in front of all the friends and family at his funer...
