If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon?

"Let the deepest scar I leave on you be that I chose to never hurt you back."

With the tip of Bun's sword nicking at his neck, Tan could see the emotions and their quarrel in his lover's features. He takes in the slight shake in his hand and quiver of his lips. He wouldn't strike. Tan knew that well in his heart and because of that knowledge he took a step forward; resulting in Bun taking a step backwards.

Something in his chest hurt, from the way those eyes were looking at him with desperation. They were asking him to speak up and say what he knew he couldn't. He knew what he was doing all along, he also knew how this day would eventually come.

But how was he to know? That he'd fall for the man who is now holding a sword at him. The man who wanted nothing now but the courage to harm him back.

"My love-" Is it alright to call you my lover, even when you're holding a weapon to my face?

Bun's features softened in the slightest way for a second. Or was it Tan's imagination? After all, the moonlight could be deceiving when you're gazing at someone you love.

Despite the situation, Tan took the time to take Bun in. The way his light brown hair softly swayed to the night's wind. The way his black robe clung onto him in the right places. He looked like a king, standing in the light of the night sword in his hand ready to fight.

"How could you lie to my face all this time?" Admitting defeat, Bun drops his arm and lets the sword fall to the ground. He's searching Tan's face like he is lost and those features are his only way home.
And didn't he feel like home? All those nights he'd sneak in his room. All the laughter and stolen kisses they'd shared? Didn't they make wordless promises of never letting go?
Where does he rest those feeling now?

"I was only trying to protect you." Tan could hardly hear his own voice and it takes him by surprise when Bun gets closer and shoves him to the wall, attempting to strangle him but only clutching his clothes.

"The only protection I needed was from you," Bun's anger is back, "you and your people have been trying to get rid of me for as long as I can remember."

"You know that's not true, love." Tan tries to soothe him but it only makes Bun tighten his grip. "I'm not interested in the politics of our families, don't you at least know that about me?"

"As if I'd believe anything you say."

"I love you."

At that, Bun flinches and steps back. His eyes fill with tears Tan wishes he could wipe away.

"No." Bun straightens himself, blinks a few times before looking back at Tan who looked back at him. So much guilt lies in those eyes, so much pain,, but how many lies?

Bun steps forward before he could stop himself and presses his lips lightly to Tan's, and before Tan gets a chance to react, he was back in his spot with distance between them.

"I'm giving you a chance to survive," Bun's voice is suddenly strong, he picks the sword he dropped earlier and holds it out for Tan. "leave before they find you and live."

When Tan doesn't move, Bun holds the sword higher but Tan's eyes wouldn't leave his. He refused to look at the sword nor move. He will prove his love even if it meant he had to die.
And it's like Bun read his mind because the moment he thought it, Bun's eyes widened with recognition.

"You can't be thinking..." He let his voice trail, "they will not show you mercy, Tan. If you have any sense, you'd leave now."

"I thought you were here to kill me, my king." Tan laughs, but he notices how Bun panics by the way his breath catches and Tan decides in this moment that he's ready to die for this man. The man who hold his heart in the small of his palm and doesn't even know it. How did he let himself fall this hard?

"Tan-" Bun is cut off when Tan steps forward and lays a hand on his cheek, his thumb grazes lightly the skin under his eye and if they were in a different setting, Bun would have let his eyes close to that. "Tan." He says again, this time firmer. Or so he tries as Tan ignores his voice. He's taking in every inch of his face, like it's the first time he's seeing him. Or perhaps.. the last.

Bun doesn't get to register that last thought before Tan is kissing him and it is soft, and slow like they had all the time in the world. The sword is back on the ground as Bun's hands find their way up and into Tan's hair. His beautiful hair. Did he tell him enough, how much he enjoyed playing with his hair in the dark? How he thought it beautiful in the way in formed on his pillow when he sleeps?

Tan brushes his cheek, the way he always does and Bun feels helpless. He doesn't realize he's crying until Tan is looking at him again, his eyes full of apology but Bun rests his forehead on his.

"I love you." He whispers and it is Tan's turn to let out a cry on that dark silent night. And for the first in his life, he's scared of what's to come to another person.

A/N: please excuse the rusty writing, this is the first thing i write in a long time. some of my writing techniques are gone. thank you for reading. love, Nam <3