Unfinished Stories

The Journal

January 2

Nurse told me I should write to get my mind off of things. She gave me this diary for Christmas, but I haven't touched it until now. I don't want to talk about anything. I don't want to because I can't remember. Anything.

January 4

I was going to write yesterday, but I couldn't find the journal. I spent all day looking, but I couldn't find it in my room. I think Nurse hid it because she found it this morning for me. I wish I had a roommate that wasn't Nurse. We could be best friends and talk about things, and maybe she could help me look for things when I lose them. I think I'm going to ask for a roommate.

January 5

I am not allowed to have a roommate.

January 6

Nurse thinks she's a genius. She's always giving me things to get my feelings out with. She gave me a journal for Christmas and she told me to draw in it too. She won't let me watch TV or go outside or go visit Nella. I want to go see Nella. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving. I've decided I'm mad at her. She hasn't even come to visit.

January 9

Nurse took my journal again, and I had testing yesterday. I don't know what the testing is for, but it hurts. I yell at them to stop and they tell me it's for my own good. They think they're geniuses like Nurse.

January 10

Nurse introduced me to Doctor today. Doctor is very young. He says he is an Intern. But I'm going to call him Doctor. He talks to me very nicely, and doesn't ask me to remember anything. He sits next to me and says "Hey, Maggie, what's your favorite color? Mine is blue." and I tell him that mine is black. Because it is the opposite of white. I hate white.

January 12

Nurse said maybe I should write about why I hate white. I think when she hides my journal she reads it.

I hate white because that's what Nurse and her friends wear. It is what my room is. It is what the sky is. Everything is white. There is too much white. It surrounds me.

January 13

Doctor came to visit again today. He doesn't wear white. He wears green, and smiles a lot. Not fake smiles like Nurse and her friends, but a real smile. I like him.

February 14

It is Valentine's Day. I didn't want to write the last month so I didn't. I got top cards. A pink one from Nurse and her friends, a red one from Dylan. I don't know who Dylan is. I will ask Nurse if she comes to visit again today.

February 15

Nurse says Dylan is Doctor's name. I like his card. I hung it on my wall. It is bright red, like Nurse's nails. But Nurse's nails are like claws and they scare me. Doctor's card doesn't scare me.

February 16

Nella still hasn't visited. I can't remember what she looks like. I know she has brown hair. And I'm still mad at her. She likes wearing white too.

February 18

Doctor came to visit today. Not to ask any questions or use his stethoscope. He came with his Girlfriend. He said her name is Marianne. Marianne is very nice too. She wears orange jeans and yellow tops and her hair is pink. She doesn't like the white walls either. She said next time she comes to visit she will bring Posters. Nurse didn't like that but Doctor said it would make me happy.

February 19

Nurse says I sleep too much. I tell her that maybe if she let me go outside I wouldn't.

February 20

Marianne brought in Posters today. She had four of them. My favorite one is a picture of the stars. It's black, with little light spots. It's very pretty. Marianne told me that there were five posters but Nurse wouldn't let her bring one of them in. I don't care. Marianne told me it was white.