If Only (Drarry story)

The Train

" I think I'd pitch myself off the astronomy tower if I had to continue another year."

"Draco, what's that supposed to mean?" Pansy implores, breaking abruptly from watching the countryside fly past the train window.

"Nothing, just that I won't be wasting my time in charms class next year."

As anyone with half a brain would've pieced together, this is not the reason I said what I did. If Pansy knew what I have been tasked with, she'd never be able to look at me the same. We've been best friends since our first year when the sorting hat directed us to the Slytherin dining hall table. There are some things better left unsaid, better unheard by anyone.

Everyone expects me and Pansy to end up together, and deep down I know she wants that. Don't get me wrong, she's beautiful: dark eyes, chestnut hair that deeply contrasts with her porcelain skin. I've tried to see her as more than a friend, but every time I try to imagine kissing her, my mind revolts. I think it's only because I've known her for so long, and refuse to view her as anything but a sister. Besides, what a silly waste of time girls are. I, for one, am glad I don't have to deal with them.

All of a sudden, the carriage goes dark. Yells of fright echo from the dark red seats around me. With my vision blacked out, I begin to panic. Maybe the Dark Lord, the one I've been held mentally hostage by, is making an appearance. One to ensure that I carry out the deed I have been ordered to do. I can't  do it, I just can't.

Black smoke seeping into my lungs, I collapse onto the floor as the carriage begins to become visible again. Realizing everyone is watching me panic, I frantically get up and look around. I must have still looked petrified, as Pansy muttered to me that it was probably a first year messing around.

As I sit back down opposite Pansy and Blaise, I could swear I saw my black leather bag move ever so slightly on the rack. How strange.

...
A FEW HOURS LATER

The train squeals to a stop. Pansy and Blaise leave the carriage, but I stay behind. I suspect I have a visitor.

As the footsteps fade away, I command my wand to shut the window blinds, I don't want anybody to see what might go down in here. Wait. Not what I meant!! Get your mind out of the gutter!

My bag shifts again, as the sense of danger in the air rises. With a swift flick of my wand, my bag comes tumbling down from the rack, and with it Harry Potter, petrified from the spell I just casted. Laying on the floor with his eyes frozen open, he looks just as smug as ever, bet he's proud of himself for eavesdropping. I know he doesn't deserve what I'm about to do, no one does, but it's the only way to save myself from the terrible fate that awaits me.

My foot seems to move of it's own accord, slamming into Potter's nose. As I release my anger, tears begin to choke me, almost as if I'm drowning in fear and anguish and sadness and pity. I slowly come back to reality. Ah, well, Potter's nose seems to be badly broken; I better get off the carriage before I'm seen.

The cold night air hits my tear-stained face as I lift my bag and head towards the entrance hall.