Not my fault,My fate

Chapter Twenty-eight

Theme: Hurtin all over again

   TANIA'S POV🤧

   School was over and I took my bags and told Hailey that I was leaving for the hospital. She decided to escort me but from her expression I knew she wanted to say something.

   "You are going to see him right?!" Hailey asked.

    "Yeah"

   "Don't you feel you are overdoing it....... Like a normal human will know that Ryan likes you,its way too obvious and you are not even helping, instead you visit him everyday by igniting that feeling..... Don't tell me you don't feel something for him too?!

   " I'm just trying to cheer him up as a friend..... Nothing else"

    "Nothing else??!! You are seriously telling me that..... Well there's something you are not telling but here's a piece of advice, don't start what you can't finish. If you claim that he's just a friend and no strings attached then don't overdo it, visiting once or twice a week will do instead of everyday. If not one day you'd be stuck in the hospital too!!"

     "Stuck in the hospital?! Why?" I asked looking confused.

    "Because one day, Ryan will wake up chanting your name and you wouldn't have a choice but to stay with him till he gets better. Just don't overdo it!"

   "Okay Teacher,i have to go"

      "Yes and one more thing,don't you think you need to see the doctor,you don't look good at all......"

   "I'm good,I'll see you tomorrow..... Love you!!" And that's how I escaped from the ever-curious Hailey.

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   I got to the hospital and went into Ryan's ward,I found him sitting on the bed this time. I was really excited because he was always lying down. I had this strong fate that he was gonna leave this place soon enough.

   He was also excited when he saw me and had this heavenly smile on his face,he opened his arms and I gently cuddled him. He didn't want to let go and I did not want him to be sad or anything so I stayed in his arms and felt his heartbeat...... It was way irregular from the normal heartbeat.

   After a while,he refrained from the hug and looked me deep in the eyes as he put my hair behind my ear. I was praying so hard for him not to kiss me__ I wonder why that was the only thought in my head but he was making me nervous and I couldn't help but think like that.

  But instead...... He closed his eyes and kissed me on my forehead. I felt this sadness in him,I saw his fear but all he saw was me,he took my hands and smiled at me.

   "You know why I always say you should kiss me on the forehead?" Ryan asked.

   "I don't know...... Because you like it perhaps?!!"

    "Well yes I like it........ But mostly, its because you make me feel safe,when you kiss my forehead,I always feel positive that I'd see tomorrow...... Its all thanks to you"

   "I'm ......uh...... I'm glad you are happy" I was struggling with words at that moment.

     "There's something I wanna tell you,I might not have the courage to do it tomorrow or I might not even be here tomorrow so I'll settle for today. So..... (Clears his throat) I like you..... Like really really like you. I've always admired you and one thing I prayed for was to be close to you,you don't know how happy I was when you came through that door to check on me for the first time. I felt this leap of joy in me and if I was going to die that night,I'm going to die a fulfilled man. I don't know how to explain this feeling but its there and it grows deeper everyday,I don't know how you feel about me but promise you wouldn't leave..... We could be friends that stay there for each other, promise me?!" Ryan said as he stared into my eyes waiting for my reply.

    I took in a deep breathe because this moment was a deep one "I promise you...... I'd always stick by you and you are not dying now,not yet...... You still have a lot to accomplish and a long way to go,you are not yet a fulfilled man,Ryan" .

   "Whatever you say goes,just don't go...... I promise not to go too__ Come here,let's lay together and talk about things we would do after we are cured of this disease". Ryan said as he adjusted so I could lie down on the sickbed,he covered me with his blanket and we chattered time away.

😧😧😢😢😢😩😩😩

   " I'm sorry,he didn't make it...... We rushed to his ward this morning after the emergency alarm went off and found his body. I'm sorry" The nurse said.

   "You have to be joking,this is a joke! I saw him yesterday... No no...... It was two days ago and he was responding to treatment well,how did he not make it!!!!!" I said as I was losing it and the box of chocolate fell off my hand.

   "Pls calm down...... I'm really sorry. And he gave me this yesterday to give it to you" The nurse said as she hands a note over to me.

          ~ყơų ῳɛrɛ ɬɧɛ ơŋɛ ɬɧıŋɠ ɬɧąɬ             ცrıɠɧɬɛŋɛɖ ų℘ ɱყ ɖąყ,ı Ɩơ۷ɛ ყơų ɬąŋıą woods~

   As I read the note,I fell to the ground as tears flowed down my face. Was that it? What of the promise? He didn't even wait for the promise of been his true friend to be fulfilled. Is that the end? Is he really gone?

   I started to display like a mentally derailed person as I screamed aloud while I sat on the hospital floor. I've felt this type of pain before. The pain of losing a loved one...... It was unbearable, it was a different kind of pain.

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

   As I walked down the road that led to my house under the dark sky,I cried. I couldn't explain why the pain was this much but it hurt way too deep. Few blocks to my house,I sighted someone outside but my vision was already blurry and my knees were wobbling, I felt so weak,my heart started to beat irregularly and before i could take the next step,thud!__ I fell to the ground.

   Adrian who was waiting for me outside his house sighted me afar and ran to rescue me. I can't remember but I knew he carried me in his arms and took me to my house.

   Just like that,I blacked out and couldn't feel or tell where I was. Or did I die too? Its a question I can answer if I get to open my eyes again.