Not my fault,My fate

Chapter Thirty-five

Theme: Life

👸🤒 TANIA'S POV🤧🏥

Life has so much to offer but we have little or no knowledge about it. I'm just a young girl who grew up amongst so much tension and the pain of losing a loved one that I was so blind I didn't see how much love I was surrounded with.

   The love of your family,your sibling and your one true love..... They are all one big reason to fight to stay alive. My brother__ Chase,he's been someone I always looked up to my whole life,everything about him is so dashing and I couldn't wait for him to graduate from college and be that whiz kid that'll make mum and dad proud because it might be something I might not be able to do.

   That's why I was pissed when I found out about the drugs he was into,since the day of the incident__ I always avoided him,if he came up the stairs I'll go back to my room, if he entered the kitchen I'll leave,if we barge into each other at the door I'll just pass without staring at him. It hurt with the silent treatment I gave him but I was so hurt that I didn't know how to face him. Many days when it was just the two of us in the house and I needed someone to talk to..... It could be boy trouble today...   Mixed feelings tomorrow.....  Or my health issues the next day.

   The day of Ryan's death,I just needed one arm to run into and pour my tears all out and if that arm was my brother's, I wouldn't mind, but I didn't even get to the house before I passed out.

  Chase came to the hospital today or maybe he has come before but I'm just seeing him today and its so clear that I'm not the only person hurting__ we all need each other.

  "I messed up..... I messed up and did lots of shii that I shouldn't have done,I let mum and dad down, I let you down, I got so drawn into the dark world and it was hard to let go of. I'm really sorry Tania..... I've never been more remorse and bitter in my entire life than I am now..... I promise you I'd give up" Chase said teary-eyed.

  "Give up on drugs?!"

  "Yeah Give up on drugs"

   "That's not gonna be easy and promises are meant to be kept and not broken....  You promise?"

   "I've given up already.... Yes it is not easy but I'm not going to go back to it anymore, it ruins lives and leaves you miserable. I promise Tania!"

  "Come here" I managed to give him a hug even though I had hoses on my arm.

  "I missed you Monkey" Chase said as he leaned close.

   "I never missed you"

And we burst into laughter,sibling's love beats differently. Well Chase and I love were different,we couldn't stay mad at each other for too long. And he enrolled in a college that was just a train away from where we lived,he sent his application letter and he had been called for an interview already...... I see he's working really hard on his promise because he's making progress already.

🏥🤕🏥🤧🏥😷🏥🤒🏥😪🏥

 
  My surgery was tomorrow and I was getting nervous, to be honest I was only thinking of the odds__ what if I don't make it? Adrian already told me a million times that nothing will go wrong.

  Speaking of Adrian,he spent most if not all of his time in the hospital with me,he goes to work though__ I guess that's the least you could do for someone you really care about. He sleeps here every night in the ward with me,don't get cranky thoughts 😅__ nothing could possibly happen between a patient on bed rest and a non patient. He kissed me once though before he said 'goodnight'..... It wasn't long,I really wanna get out of this state and get a proper long kiss with other touche attached.

  Adrian and I got so attached to each other,he made me laugh,he fed me,we took lots of selfies with my bald haircut__ most of them were his idea because I know how ugly I'd look 😅. He said I looked beautiful no matter what.... He said it every time,he told me more about his childhood__ it was pretty sad except for days that involved his stepsister,I laughed once or twice when he told me about her. And about his dad,we never really talked about him..... And seeing how he never went home to sleep for once,he wasn't bothered and neither was his Dad.

  I couldn't wait to start life afresh and yeah Adrian will be involved every step of the way. That was the bright side I was always looking at.

  🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

It was the day of my surgery and mum and dad held my hands every step of the way,they were nervous than I was but instead they stayed by my side and told me to hang in there and not give up.

  The faces of my loved ones before I went into the operation theatre all touched a deep place in my heart,if not for anyone but for them__ I was going to fight for my life and survive!

" Lights on! Inject Propofol! ........"

  And everything got blurry and more blurry until it all faded away.