Domas - YOU know me

First chapter: First meet

Dear diary,
I ask me so many things. For example what should I do? I don't know. I'm so confused, I never been before. [...] What is love? I mean - it sounds so stupid. You like somebody and you want to be by his or her side every time. But why?  Just because of a few lucky hormones which control you? They let your heart beat faster beating and you do crazy shit. That's not fair. Is it possible to influence that in any way?  What if you long for a person so much that it tears you up apart inside? It's like thousand hornets sting at once. This feeling is terrible. [...] and you can do nothing. It's fate. Something you can't influence. Sounds like a nightmare, but it's the dark truth. [...]
My feelings eat me up. They're rolled together like a lottery. There're so many feelings that I don't even know which one has the upper hand. [...]
I thought he's the only one. Because at first he gave me the feeling that everything will be fine. The first months were so good. I was never been in love before like this. But he changed it. [...] And now it doesn't feel right as good as it used to be.

I sitting in the living room on the couch in my hotel room and thinking about the last time. The last time was everything but not good. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel very bad. the relationship with Ryan isn't good for me. I don't know whether it's my faul or Ryans. A long time ago, I fell in love with him at the set of my show Liv & Maddie. I was seventeen years old at that time. I thought he was the only one. He was mysterious, exciting for me. First time I known that I got feelings for him was Shit! He would never be with a girl like me. but now, we're together since 3 years. We are even engaged. I was so shy. Today it's more better as for years. At the beginning the first time in a relationship with him was fantastic. Butterflies were in my stomach and my heart beating faster when he looked at me. The relationship was my first relationship. I thought I would did something wrong, but Ryan showed me otherwise. He made me feel safe. I'm the only person who won his heart. Now it's different. It's not like it used to be. I'm tired. I spoke with one of my tighest friends Cameron Boyce. He said I should speak with Ryan. But I'm afraid of it. Afraid of his reaction. I don't want to hurt him. Never I would like this. But how he does feel? Does he loves me how at the first day?

I look to the clock. Fuck! I have to go to the work! Today is supposed to be the first day of shooting of Descendants 2. Am I excited? Maybe a little bit. I take my coffee and drive with my car to the set of Descendants 2. The movie is set in Vancouver like the first movie. It's a hot september day. The sun is out an throw light at everything. Sommer is okay, but I like the winter more.

On the first day I'll meet the new actors, new dancers and the people who work behind the scenes.
I'm so glad to be a part of this great team. I'll meet my friends, my second family and can't wait to see them. The cast has grown to my heart.
I've text with them (Sofia, Cameron and Boboo) a lot between break in shooting. There were a few nights when we watched movies, had fun and spend time together. They're the best crew I ever met befor. I promise, they are. They are there for you at all times, don't care what problem and have an open ear.

I sit on one of the chairs next to Sof and wait until Kenny (more or less) introduces the new people. "First we have China McClain. She'll embodies Uma, daughter of Ursula.'" he says and Cam grins. The two already met long time ago. I guess they were 10 years old or something like this. 

The next person was Dylan Playfair alias Gil, son of Gaston. "Thomas Doherty will plays Harry, son of Captain Hook."
I look up and see a handsome guy. Honestly a very handsome guy. He has brown hair and is  tall and good-looking. "He's so pretty..." I whisper quietly.

The first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to leave feedback in the comments!