"Ijeoma," he called my name so calmly, no one has ever spoken to me in that way before , they all shout and scold me .
" I can't help you if you don't open up to me , I can't help you heal , if you don't talk to me "
The way he looks at me makes me want to run to him for protection, want to tell him to help me recover,but on a second thought I chose not to be deceived, they are only kind to you only when they want something from you.
" I want to go , please!"
I could see how upset he was now , who won't be , that's what I have been doing for the past few days now .
" you want to go , you always want to run away from the truth , I know that you don't trust me , I can see that in your eyes , you haven't been loved , that was why you think that anyone that's nice to you only wants something from you in return " this time his voice wasn't calm neither was it harsh or loud, but he was hurt.
I was pissed off
" fuck off!" I picked up my bag angrily as I walk towards the door
" don't fucking act like you could understand me , like you could know me , because you can't understand how void I feel inside " I slammed the door angrily and left.
I got home that day in my apartment, feeling so empty and dirty ,my eyes were swollen , thinking about what happened today , I really felt sorry for shouting at him , he was trying to understand me, he was only trying to help me , but as a witch that I am , I always push everyone away from me .
I went to the bathroom to take a shower, at least to ease my mind but on seeing the scar on my wrist made me remember.
"AUNTY please I want to go home !"
"Which home , is not as if they remember that you are here ? She laughed
That word hit me to the core
" what you will do for me now is to stay here , someone will meet you in a minute, just put on your best behavior "
I nodded wasn't aware what awaits me
I sat in the room quietly until the door opened
And an old man walked in , a man old enough to be my father
That was when it occurred to me what was going on
I ran to the door but my aunt was fast enough to lock it from outside
" aunt please open the door , I promise to be a good girl, I will do anything you want me to do please,please don't do this to me" I pleaded pounding on the door .
That was when the old man dragged me out and gave me a slap that landed on the floor.
He forced himself on me , not once or twice and then I was only 18 years naive girl .
" ahhhh!!!!" I screamed on top of my voice as that day flashes through my mind .
It's been years now , but still fresh on my mind .
" fuck! Who wouldn't remember that day" I screamed at myself.
I washed my body the whole night , feeling disgusting.
I sat on the bathtub and cried the whole night to god knows when.
Woke up the next day in the bath tub, took my bath at once and went to work .
That was how my life has been , work to home .
