Chapter 1

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It was in the middle of transitioning from autumn to winter when the two boys ran off from their small village homes and through the woods to their secret spot they found when they were kids. This was their ritual, every year, at the end of the autumn season because this would be the last time they can lay out in the field together before the harshness of winter comes. Changmin and Chanhee grew up in a small village, and they had been friends since they were small children. They always shared a deep connection, and on their shared birthday, at the age of 14, they found out why their connection was always so strong. They were soulmates, but the one thing that set them apart from their village's soulmates was that they were just best friends that shared the same nature. Their connection was never anything other than the love one has for a best friend, but they did share everything, even their first kiss, because who else could they trust. In the end, they made a promise to be together forever no matter what. Their lives would be lived out, unable to produce children and experience the true nature of their omega biology which they both yearned for when they also happened to present at the same time the following year. Their soulmate bond was as much of a blessing as it was a curse. Together forever but forced to suffer through painful heats that will never be satiated by an alpha, no children, and no bonding mark to call their own. That was the price of being soul bonded to your omega best friend.

Chanhee's POV

The weather was so beautiful, and I could feel it was the last few days of autumn. It was getting colder, and bringing my cover was a smart idea in the end. Changmin had run ahead to lay down, and I slowly approached because I wanted to bask in the amazing weather. I knew because it would get dark soon the most we had was an hour left, and this made me pick up my speed so I could actually lay down in my favorite field. I said a short thought out loud "Isn't this so sad?" Changmin replied, "of course it is, we have to wait 4 heat cycles before we can even come back." I looked at him and chuckled, it was nothing new for Changmin to think in heat cycles...his heats are the worst and he dreads them every month. Mine have progressively begun to get worse as the days go on, and eventually, I think they will be as bad as Changmin's, which scares me. These are the moments where I long for an alpha, and it upsets me that I cannot have one because I am not soulmates with one. I think Changmin gets upset as I do, but he is so stubborn he refuses to show it. I think we both love and hate our situation, but there is nothing that can be done now. This is our burden to bear. I decided nothing else needed to be said, so I just stared at the sun starting to set and felt a sad pang in my heart. The best season is truly leaving. I lost track of time, and before I knew it Changmin was shaking me out of my trance. "The sun is going down, we must leave." I slowly got up and brushed the dirt off me. I grabbed Changmin's hand and replied "well, let's go then." Changmin smiled at me and then we ran back toward our village.

Once we got back, we checked in with our parents to grab some garments, and we grabbed the bubbles to fill up the big tin tub in the washhouse outback. This is another ritual of ours, bubble baths in the biggest tin tub our families share just for us. If you asked me my favorite part of being soulmates with Changmin, it would have to be that only I know him for who he is. He might be an acquired taste to everyone because of his standoffish and sassy personality, but he is just sensitive and scared of vulnerability. When you can be close to him, he is a true beauty, all the best parts of him are hidden for only the best people. Bath time is the best time, and we take them every day. This means we get to play with bubbles, kiss, cuddle, and all the best things one can do during bath time with their best friend and soulmate. So, that's what we do. We pour bubbles into the water and splash around until all the bubbles are fizzy and it smells like the lavender that grows in our yard. Once the bubbles were lightly floating on the surface of the water, Changmin and I got undressed to get into the tub, and once we were settled in we began cleansing our legs and arms and briefly washing. We stopped to look at each other, sharing a small smile in the silence of our washroom. Changmin sends a flirty wink at me and grabs the sides of the bin to easily allow him to move toward me to finally settle on his knees about an inch from my face.

I smile at him and lean in slowly to place a bunch of soft kisses on his lips. Changmin giggles and smiles back before putting his hands on my shoulders, and leaning against me to deepen the kiss. He sucks in my bottom lip to only nibble on it a bit after letting it go. We spend the next couple of minutes lightly kissing, and it is a nice aspect of our dynamic. We have intimacy without crossing a line we are both unwilling to cross. It would be ineffective anyway. Changmin stops kissing me and sits back down to finish washing. We sit in more comfortable silence until we decide we are done washing and step out to air dry. It's cold, but it doesn't take too long to dry off. By the time we are dried and have eaten dinner, it is night and we must light candles in our shared room to see.

I have felt funny ever since I took that bath with Changmin. My skin has been unusually hot and feels a bit clammy to the touch. Maybe bathing and air drying later in the day as it gets cooler was not the best option. I find myself wandering off to the alluring idea of an alpha coming to whisk me away, and as I get deeper into my thoughts I realize my hands have started to wander across my skin and make their way down to my abdomen. What would it feel like to experience a knot? What would it feel like being marked and owned? What would it feel like to be pregnant with pups? "Do you think that even though we are soulmates that we can have alphas of our own one day?" I ask. Changmin snaps at me, "No, you know this is impossible. We are soulmates, and we will never have an alpha of our own. You're stuck with me, and you know it's not my ideal situation either." This is not the first time I have asked this question, and this is not the first time Changmin has snapped at me for it. He knows I love him, and I know he loves me, but we had always had our own wants out of life, both wanting to marry a nice alpha and have pups of our own.

I realize it's a touchy subject for Changmin, but I am also having a hard time accepting this. Changmin has always wanted the typical life as much as I have, and because his heats are so painful and have been for so long, I imagine he must want it more. I don't know how else to respond to this besides humming. Changmin huffs at me and moves to get into our bed. I realize that it might be best to just get to sleep in order to end the night quicker, so I blow out the candles and move to the bed, and I cuddle into Changmin's back in a silent apology for upsetting him. We lay there in silence until we both succumb to sleep.

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