In love with my husband

Crying for lost time

I cried, I cried, and I cried a lot more. No one ever has made a promise to love me. I couldn't expect from anyone when even my own parents didn't love me. But now that I've heard the words from him, I realized how much I wanted that, how much I needed that. All my life, I convinced myself that I didn't need Avishek's love, I didn't need to be his wife, I was okay with being a mother and daughter like daughter-in-law. And really, I consider myself lucky to be loved by my in-laws and my children. I couldn't blame Avishek for our lives, he had said so at the beginning. But I didn't know, how much I wanted to be in love, to be in love with Avishek. 

So, I cried for me, for my lost childhood, for my sad fate and clung to him for dear life. I stayed in his arms for, what seemed like hours. I slowly pulled myself away, looked up at him and tried to give him a smile. He smiled back and then my eyes welled up again.

He frowned at me, and then I cried loudly. Like how Payal did when I took her favorite doll from her. I burrowed into his neck again and felt him chucking against me.

"And I always wondered how did Payal get that cry" he said, combing through my hair.

I hiccupped, trying to calm down. I didn't know why I was crying then. I just wanted to cry.

Finally, we separated, and after making sure I was okay, he went to our room, to freshen up. I too went to the guest bathroom to wash my face. I looked at myself at the mirror. I looked awful, swollen eyes, red nose, trace marks. But I had a smile on my face. I felt lighter, I felt like flying.

I might have skipped to the kitchen, but I didn't care and started working on the dinner.

I heard a throat clearing behind me and I looked back to see Ru and Vikash standing side by side, holding each other's hand.

I looked at Ru to see her smiling reassuringly at me. At the same time, Avishek entered the room.

Ru introduced them.

"Vikash , this is Avishek. Avi, this is Vikash , my husband." she said, wrapping herself around him.

They both shook their hands in greeting.

"I am sorry to intrude." Vikash started to say, but Avishek cut him off.

"It's no worries. Really. It was about time we met." He smiled at Ru.

After some awkward moments, I announced that dinner was ready, and we all sat down to eat. Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Nobody tried to initiate any conversation. I guess we were all lost in our own thoughts. I sure was. All throughout the dinner I stole glances at Avishek. Smile threatened to break out whenever I looked at him. Sitting at that dinner table, with my husband and his ex with her husband, I realized what I had been missing. I was missing love.

We all left for our respective rooms after dinner. As much as I was happy, I was weirdly nervous. Like it was the first night after our wedding.

God, you are a 50-year-old woman. These dirty thoughts don't suit you. My brain scolded me.

I am not 50 yet. I still have 3 years left. I refuted like a kid.

I entered the room to see Avishek talking on the phone. He noticed me coming and smiled at me. I couldn't stop my own. I begrudgingly went to collect my night clothes and made my way towards the bathroom. Avishek was still talking on the phone. He mouthed "mom" to me. I nodded and walked towards him to talk to mom. He handed me the phone and I heard mom saying, "I cannot believe I have a 10-year-old in a 50-year-old son's body."

I look at Avishek amused, wondering what was going on. He just shrugged.

"Hi mom" I interrupted chuckling.

"Seema, why don't you keep you phone with you? You never know when it's an emergency." She scolded me.

"Sorry mom. I forgot my phone in the room." I said, not minding her scolding.

"When will you come to visit me? It's been so long." She said, a little whine slipping into her tone.

"Mom, we were there just last month." I said laughing.

"But still, we will" I trailed off. I felt something crawl on my body. I looked down to see I was a pair of arms creeping around me. His arms around my waist and his front plastered to my back. I was near him before in the kitchen too, but I was so focused on what he was saying, I didn't realize how my body was reacting to him.

Now, plastered from head to toe, I was aware of everything. How my heart beat fast like I had just run a marathon, how his strong forearms encircled me, trapping me to his body, how his breath hit me on the side of my neck, how I could feel every inch of him whenever he shifted.

I could feel someone calling me from a distance, but I paid no attention to it. My entire focus was on my husband.

"Mom is on the line" Avishek whispered, coming up from burrowing his head onto my neck to whisper in my ears.

He might as well have whispered gibberish because all I knew was my whole body erupted in goosebumps on his whisper.

"Seema" he said again.

I turned to look at him, and saw him looking at me, smirking.

"What?" I whisper, dumbly.

"Mom" he repeated, nodding towards the phone, I had death grip on.

"Mom?" I asked, confused.

What was mom doing here?

He chuckled and the sound whirled my stomach. I had to gulp when he reached out his hand to take the phone away from me, his breath hitting my cheeks on the process.

"Mom, I will call you later." He said. "yes, mom, Seema is alright. The phone fell out of her hand." He said, looking at me amused.

Phone fell out of my hand. What was he saying?

He cut the line and threw it on the bed. He had still not let go of me.

"You are very cute, you know that?" he said, making himself comfortable, wrapping around me.

"I am?" I asked, my mind still not registering what was happening.

He chuckled. He leaned towards me, putting his forehead against mine, and whispered, "Yes, yes you are. And I am an idiot for not noticing it before."

I could not say anything. His arms were very comfortable, so warm. I wanted to stay there forever.

Finally!! It's Friday you guys. It was such a long week. Hope you guys had a good week.

Anyway, this was all for today. Hope you liked the chapter.

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