ELITE REUNION

I BREAK HEARTS

Is the music out of tune or is he out of sync with himself?

Is his subconsciousness trying to tell him something or is the past coming back to haunt him? Mistakes last a lifetime in this cruel world and no amount of alcohol can cover that up.

No matter how much he drinks, how many calls he tries to make to heaven, he can't stop the feeling inside of him from trying to kill him off; all the loneliness and saudade is eating away at the core of his being, ready to devour him when he loses course of what's important.

His longing is ruining his life. He wants to kill it off. He wants answers. He wants to know what really happened. He knows what they told him was a lie. He wants life to call him, to tell him the truth. He's been living a lie for the past twenty-five and a half years.

He doesn't want to break anymore hearts. He doesn't want the pain, anguish, guilt and regret to linger any longer. He wants to live life to its full and enjoy it for once. He wants to be on receiving end for once. He wants his own heart broken. Not to break someone else's heart. He knows if he breaks it, it belongs to him only. He won't get sued for emotional property damage. He won't have anymore self-hatred left inside him.

He wants to find out if he is the one who actually dies. From everything inside of him. From his addictions, from his self-righteous suicide. From life itself. Or if he kills off everyone around him. He used to break everyone else's hearts. But now his own is on the line.

The reception is breaking up as he grabs the gun. He holds it close to his temples and shoots. Finally, his saudade is dying, like his earthy body. He can feel the anguish leaving him, like a candle in the wind, floating away, like his sprit will do soon.

Blood pours from his face as he sits back smiling; his last conscious thought isn't something as simple as I'm free, but:

I was the one that shot the bullet. It was me.

He feels a strange sense of relief and justice put on this calming mind as his consciousness drifts into another dimension, ready for the next round of judgement. 

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His favourite song's playing in the next room. The song he danced to and got his first dance at the high school disco. Memories flood back to him.

He tries to approach her and touch her... but then he remembers that she can't hear, see or touch him.

She doesn't even know he's gone.

She probably doesn't care much either....

In fact, she's probably elated.

In the end, it turns out that she hated him, and he hated her.

She's probably glad that she doesn't have to deal with his presence anymore. She will feel free in her own way too when she hears the news and throw a party. Celebrate his death:

Happy death day, Samu. You are useless, you were useless and always will be. I'm glad you're gone, you needy leach of a man. You never done any of us any good after you ruined her life. You and your stupid criminal brother.

She can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Finally. After all this time. Even though she has no one to call her own herself. But she won't mind. Neither will Guzman. He hated him in the end, after college. After it all went down.

Not even Omar will touch him with a twenty-meter bargepole anymore. His best friend since the beginning of high school. Back when he was a good kid. When he genuinely cared about him. Before he become a fat, ugly shadow of his former self.

He ended up being a waste of space. For everyone. Even his own mother who birthed him. She ended up regretting it in the end. The addictions and lovemaking ended up being the bane of his existence. Forget about Polo, he was just too much for the world to handle himself.

All he ever wanted was love and acceptance. All he ended up with was drama and heartbreak. Becoming a lost soul wasn't a part of the plan. But ended up that way after he let his emotions take over. All he wanted was to be a lawyer. To get Nano out of jail. To prove his innocence... but it led him down a trail of destruction. Chaos. Out of character shenanigans.

A/N: What do you think of this so far?