Bastard

💐🌹🥀🌷🌻

   I wish a wonderful, blessive day to all.

  My time here with my sisters will soon end, and I was hoping for nothing but fellowship and merriment and relaxation. Of course my presence here seems to be ruffling a few feathers.

   After my spoken word performance at Talent Night, plus after this silly game was played at breakfast this morning, all of the menfolk here seem to be staring daggers at me today.

   Do I give a fuck? Yes and no.

   Some men are absolutely insecure. This has been proven. And when a bastard like me, who's chill and not for problems comes along and treats women the way they don't they wanna feel some type of way. They let their mouths write checks their asses can't cash.

   They care not how disrespectful and dumb they come off. They team together and plot, for birds of a feather flock together. The whole insecure lot of them. They don't realize their words embarrass. Their accusations embarrass. They are mean and say things spitefully, purposely, to hurt. Their true ignorance is shown.

  It makes me wonder how the opposite, fairer, wiser sex even give these insecure men any play or time to begin with.

   I couldn't enjoy the lovely breakfast. I excused myself and went to my room. I'm not the one who initiated the stupid game, yet I'm the one feeling bad.

  And I'm not the one to keep fucking with.

   I take and I take, just to keep the peace. But I'm tired and fed up. I don't give a fuck who likes me or not, who has a problem with me or not.

   After getting lost in my blunt, Mona Lisa came to see me. She asked me not to pay them no mind, but she said David was out of line. She'd slapped the shit out of him when he made a remark about me not even being her real brother.

  Cotton came by also. She said she needed to set things straight, and confessed what she'd told me to Mona. She said she couldn't have her friend thinking something was going on with her and her man. Mona Lisa looked so humiliated, I felt so bad for her. Cotton excused herself, but not before asking if we could talk later.

   I gave my sister a bear hug. She had tears coming down her face and I wiped them away and kisses her forehead. She told me she was gonna make David pay. I don't want to see his face right now...want to get lost? Got some more of that good, cuz I can use it.

   Ruby had disappeared on us, so Mona and I went for a ride to a nearby park. We found a bench and lit up. She told me she was so angry and disappointed. How could David be so callous with her feelings? I should divorce him...

   Now, I know my sis was deep in her feelings, but I knew she loved her husband.

   Mona Lisa began to ask me about my love life and how I handled it. I told her what a mess it was, and I didn't lie to her. I couldn't stress that enough. I told my sister that I loved love. I want love. I'm just not worthy.

  You want me to slap the shit outta you too? she asked me, looking serious. She had the blunt, and held it whilst staring me down. You better stop that shit. Boy, you are golden. I know it. They know it. That's why they love you. Only you need to know it.

  Mona told me she was tired of hearing me put myself down, said it hurt her heart. She made me promise to stop it. I presented her with a flower lei I'd been braiding, as a peace offering. Mona Lisa smiled thru her pain, then asked me to put it around her neck. She thanked me, said she remembered the very first time I'd ever braided flowers for them back in the day. It was a fond memory.

   She asked me if I would make her something strong when we got back, said she wanted to unwind and feel good. I told her I'd give her a blunt, bcuz she really didn't need the alcohol. She asked if she could come smoke it in my room later on. I told her of course.

   I saw Cotton as I was leaving Mona Lisa. She came up to me and gave me a hug. I know bcuz of my actions last night, she had her feelings. She brought me to her room.

   When I went back to my room I laid out on the bed and closed my eyes for a while. I was emotionally exhausted, as well as physically. When I woke up, I popped some aspirin then headed to the gym. It was a way of getting my mind off of things. I found a machine that felt familiar and got lost in a workout.

   One of the remaining friends was in a corner doing some stretching. I called out to her and invited her to work out with me. She started laughing when she walked up and said there was no way she could work that machine. I told her anything was possible if you believed.

  China sat down on the machine, hesitant at first. She's been the chill one thru all of this, where as the rest of her crew were more adventurous 😂 China hasn't known the family as long as some of the others, and she told me a while back she never knew "the mysterious brother" even existed. She said Mona did mention me a few times but since I was never around she thought we were estranged. In a way, I did estrange my strange ass from the family. The hurt, the embarrassment was too much to bear.

   She said to see us two today, you'da never think so. She said she hasn't seen Mona Lisa so happy in a while, ever since the wedding. I got off my machine to help her, oblivious to the fact that I was indeed wearing sweats and my print must have took her as off guard as it took me. I apologized, she cleared her throat and asked what for. 

   Then, a few others came into the gym looking for their girl. They wasn't ready.

   I asked China for a rain check and picked up my towel and was leaving. It was reminiscent of my stripper days, when Caine would get pawed by the ladies. Britney, the bold one, came up to me and ran her hands down my sweaty chest to my abs, enjoying it a bit too much. I grabbed her hands and said aht aht. It wasn't gonna be none of that. The ladies began to pout and talk shit. I told them nope. You wouldn't be able to handle all this anyway, Britney said, smacking her thick ass. The demon inside wanted to shut her up, so I turned around and grabbed her and lift her like she weighed an ounce. They couldn't believe it; she couldn't believe it neither, and I know that made her wet bcuz I could smell it. I placed her down and asked You were saying? then took my leave. Nooo... don't go! Come here...damn, I guess he only get naked for Cotton y'all ...one said as I walked away.

   When I saw Mona Lisa's face as we ended up in the same hall, at first it hadn't registered. Boy, if you don't get your pale ass in your room and put on a shirt!!! she said, then added, And cover that thing up! A mess! she laughed. I told her she best get her girls. She asked why. When I told her what Britney did she said Aht aht, oh no she didn't...then I mentioned the remark about Cotton. She told me she needed the tea on that, asking how it was I got her to tell me everything.

   You know I have a silver tongue sis...I told her. She looked at me and rolled her eyes then said Apparently that's not all...I don't know how you did it but hey, if it's what I'm thinking, now you gon have a whole new set of problems on you. I told her I did what I did for her. That shut her up real quick. You a mess.

   That night, we all had dinner, and the air was hella thick. Mona ignored David, laughing with her friends and talking to Ruby and I. I could smell the tension in the air. I'd even heard tell that one of David's friends wanted to see me outside but of course this was never brought to my attention from said person. He just sat there, eyeing me every now and again.

  Mona Lisa and I got high as a kite last night, reminiscing. She told me she hated the fact that we would all be leaving. I told her once I got home she could come visit and we'd pick up where we left off.

  Cotton was leaving first thing in the morning, so she wanted to spend a little time with me. My sis had fell asleep in my bed so I covered her up and told Cotton I would meet her. As I was slipping out the door Mona Lisa picked up her head and asked me where I was going. I told her I was going to walk Cotton to her room. Umhm, she said, then fell back out to sleep.  I so hoped my big sis and her man would be able to fix this shit.