I Am Beautiful

Am I Accepted?

 I couldn't be happier anywhere else in the world, than in an animal shelter. Who wouldn't? All the smells, and the cute fluffy animals. Watching them scurry around. I only wish I had a kitten. My family isn't exactly financially stable for that, so it's a cute hamster for me.

I'm James Miller. I'm an animal kid. I mean, is it wrong to be fascinated with life? My mom is a biology professor. My dad is a veterinarian. It makes sense.

I'm not your first pick when getting a partner, but I'm not your last. I'm called "The Giraffe." Whether that's because I'm the tallest in the grade, or because I have vitiligo, I still like the nickname.

But, it's really gone downhill this year.

Maybe it's when I brought my boyfriend in to meet my parents. I hadn't told my parents I was pansexual. But, I didn't expect them to look at me like the scum of a shoe. My kind parents who loved me. Homophobic? It couldn't be possible.

Spoiler, it was.

He quickly broke up with me. He hated being at my house. I couldn't blame him. But, I started to wonder, was that really the reason?

There was a full door mirror in the bathroom. When I was a kid, I couldn't pronounce r's. So, I called it the "Do-oo Mi-oo". Walking up to it now, I saw things that I never saw before. I was too skinny. I had a huge pimple on my nose. My hair was too curly. How could anyone love me?

Ugly, and unlovable. I felt bad for the boy who dated me. Was it out of pity?

My grades quickly dropped from B's to D's. My favorite teacher, Mr. Yin, tried to reach out to me. I told him "I'm fine."

I thought about it. I could just end myself. It would be quick and easy. But, I had to think of my hamster. My hamster couldn't tell if I was despicable, or who I loved. She just cared for cuddles.

I dully thought if anyone could notice my downward spiral during that time. A girl did. Her name is "Reality." Such a curious name.

I had been reading at the side of the school during lunch. I never felt like eating anyway. That's when she came.

"Hey," She had said, "You're looking pretty depressed." I scoffed. What did she know about depression? "Hey, don't give me that. You show some signs. My mom is a mental health worker." So, then it began. I began to become friends with her. We talked more, and then we started to date.

I took her to my house and introduced her to my parents. I thought, since this time she was a girl, my parents would be chill with it. But, sympathy filler their eyes. I went into the kitchen to get snacks, and I heard my parents telling Reality my sexuality.

Silence.

"Okay, cool!" She replied.

She accepted me.

I am beautiful.