Requested by beans_and_more_beans
Type: Crackfic
Reader: Gender Neutral
Title: Gordon Ramsey
Y/n's POV
Niccolo was sick so I told him I'd take care of the restaurant. It was going well or atleast I thought it was, until Niccolo came in with a blanket wrapped around him. He looked awful
"Niccolo-" I began
"Your friend called me about the food" He says. I sweat drop. He walks to the nearest table. He grabs a fork and takes the person's plate. He bites into it. A face of disgust appears on his face
"My grandmother could do better than this and she's dead!" He yells. I stare at him, unaware that this was just the beginning. He tried another plate
"Your meals are fit for a god" He says
He likes it?
"Because they're burnt offerings!" He says tearing me down
"Niccolo-" I began. He tries another plate
"This chicken is so uncooked, a skilled vet could save him!" He yells.
It's just food...
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" He asks
"Uh.. why?" I ask
"Because you didn't cook it!" He yells as he slams the plate on the table. He then gets a glass of water. An irk mark appears on his forehead
"The water is burned... How did you burn water?!" He asks
"I didn't eve-" I began
"I wouldn't trust you running a bath, let alone a restaurant!" He says as he continues to insult me. He eats from another plate
"This roll is so horrible, Nicholas Cage won't even accept it!" He yells. He then takes a bite of a pizza
"This isn't pizza... This is a mistake.. This is an Italian tragedy!" He yells. He then tries something else
"There is enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe!" He yells. He walks over to me
"Are you stupid?!" He asks. I don't respond
"Hey! Panini head, are you even listening?!" He asks
"I am" I say. He then tries another plate
"Oh my God, you failure..." He begins
"What?" I ask
"WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE?! ARE YOU MENTALLY DEFICIENT?!?! WHO DOESN'T USE LAMB SAUCE ON THIS?! WHY ARE YOU STUPID?! COOKING ISN'T THAT HARD YET YOU'VE MANAGED TO FAIL IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE! YOU BURNED WATER! WATER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! You truly amaze me... at how utterly horrible at cooking you are. I've seen many things but nothing like this catastrophe you call food. You are never cooking in my restaurant again, get out!" He yells
(418 words)
5/16/21
YOU ARE READING
AOT Oneshots/Headcannons
FanfictionHERE YOU CAN FIND xreaders Oneshots Headcannons CHECK INFO AND REQUESTS FOR MORE INFORMATION REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN I dont own any characters except for Y/n and myself. All characters go to Hajime Isayama Book cover credits @-AKIIRA
