The year is 100 B.C. I made a time machine so my white family could escape the Mexican apocalypse. Just before we got in the machine, a pregnant beaner ran in and that was it. Now there are four white people and one pregnant Mexican.
Just then the pregnant Mexican spills 8000 babies onto the ground and there is blood everywhere. "Ay dios mio!!!" She screams. I throw a large stone at her urethra to plug the hole which brought 8000 Mexican children to 100 B.C. luckily the rock is big enough to plug all the holes inside those beef curtains. All the Mexican babies are running around chewing on Chiclets and shoving roasted corn up each other's assholes. Why couldn't we have just stayed in the current time? I wondered. Just then George Bush showed up with John F. Kennedy. They light a baby on fire then run away... 1 down, 7999 to go, I say hopelessly. I order my family to turn on an automatic lawnmower and put it on autopilot. The second those Mexican babies hear the lawnmower, they run after it. We go over to the Mexican mother and remove her head. Just then we see nacho libre saying "not in my house" Then the lawnmower turns around and all the babies come back. I close my eyes and hope border patrol gets here quick enough to save us.
