Hold me, lover, like you used to (so tight I'd bruise you)

Don't you ever wonder what could have been?

Simon Basset should have known.

He should have known from the very start that moving back to the city was going to be painful. That it was going to make all those regrets, he buried long ago, resurface without remorse. It opened the gateway to an abyss of pain - the incessant need to love, protect, and worship. In all his life, Simon had never found such hunger and desire before. A power that buried itself deep inside him, begging and screaming to be heard.

The problem was not that he couldn't have it. He already had it before, it was just that the one person who could heal this gaping wound inside him was the same person who caused it in the first place - himself. He didn't have anyone else to blame for the misery he experienced.

It was all his fault.

He let the one person he truly loves walk away - her eyes filled with pain and rejection. He couldn't even give her a reason as to why he was breaking both their hearts, why he couldn't allow himself to fully love her. He couldn't even tell her the truth because he was a coward and he didn't deserve something as perfect as her.

She was someone so easy to fall in love with and hard to forget.

He spent the last two years trying to forget everything about her. He can still see her haunting eyes and enticing smile, feel her soft touches and kisses on his skin, hear her warm laughter, and smell the lavender on her skin. No copious amount of alcohol and less than desirable one-night stands could make him forget about her. All it did was provide a temporary remedy to his longing. It could never erase the constant ache in his chest as he yearned for more. For something more complete and honest, something warm and comforting. Something deeply similar to the things she gave him.

Simon never let anything phase him. He was known for his stoic demeanor but, nothing could have prepared him from seeing her again, seeing Daphne Bridgerton seated in a cafe with someone else . He stood there on the sidewalk, frozen on his spot, just across the street from her.

He knew that eventually, he would run into her. With them living in the same city again. He honestly just didn't realize how much Daphne's presence would affect him, how excruciating it would be.

Watching Daphne simply exist was one of the most beautifully torturing things he had experienced. Simon's chest heaved, making it hard for him to breathe, as Daphne threw her head back in laughter. She laughed in a way that he thought he could only cause. He wanted to run over to her, to touch her, to hold her tight in his arms again, to feel the vibrations of her skin.

He needed to get a grip, it had been more than two years since his relationship with Daphne ended, she is single now and free to do whatever she pleases in life.

It was a welcome change to see her laughing so carefree compared to the last time he saw her on that cold, rainy night. The rain had drowned out the harsh words he spoke, as her reddened eyes glanced at him for the last time. The Daphne before him was nothing compared to the broken woman he last saw on that dreadful night. Rather, she was more like the Daphne who first captivated him - young, vibrant, and full of life.

Simon held her back, he just knew it.

He needed to get a grip. He was the one that ended things with her. He had no right to feel this way - jealousy and remorse. He didn't even deserve her in the first place. He was flawed and imperfect. She deserves someone who could give her everything she wanted and more. And he so badly wanted to be that man - the man lucky enough to stand beside her and hold her hand.

Simon shook himself free from the daze that swallowed him whole. Tracking his gaze around the street slowly being filled to the brim with people. It was only fitting that Daphne would be the one to cause such a distraction. She was even more radiant than ever, like a warm fire in a stormy night beckoning you closer. She always did, and she always will.

He was too late. He let his fear control his every decision, pushed away from the one person he truly loved, and now this is his consequence - to see her with someone else.

Sighing, Simon continued on his way no matter how much it aches.

Spotted: Simon Basset is back after two years of being gone from the London scene. The new CEO of Hastings Inc. was seen walking along central London looking handsome as always. Could this mean that he is finally taking over his father's company? One thing is for sure - his return would surely cause quite a stir within London's upper-class.

He was last seen leaving the country after what seems to be a rough break-up with his then-girlfriend, Daphne Bridgerton. Wonder how the young miss is feeling right now? My sources have told me that she was seen at a cafe with a dashing man. How timely, I might say.

Could trouble be brewing soon?

- Whistledown Society Papers

"Did you hear?"

Daphne looked up from her computer screen only to see Rose. Confusion etched her face as she wondered why her friend was standing by her office door.

"Hear what?"

"Simon's back in town. Whistledown just posted about it."

"Oh," her shoulders slumped as she thought about him. It's been years since she last saw him, years since that dreadful night that still stings as if it only happened yesterday. "I didn't know." Daphne was definitely lying, she knew he was back. She just got back from her lunch break when she saw the newest Whistledown post. She also definitely read it more than once just to make sure he was truly back.

It also didn't help that Whisteldown was already anticipating drama. With Simon back and her apparently seeing someone. It irks her with what this author is doing. For the past few months, Whistledown was putting out snide remarks regarding her dating again and now the author is giddy with delight. Looking forward to gossip she can ponder to the masses.

"How are you feeling?" Rose's voice was filled with worry as she made her way deeper into Daphne's office.

Rose's concern was not surprising, she was the one Daphne ran to when Simon broke her heart. She cried her eyes out in her friend's apartment, a bottle of wine shared between them. Rose could easily recall all the unsavory words she called him.

It's not like she spent the last two years desperately trying to move on from him. She was finally getting over him. Sure, it was a slow process and her family was probably tired of seeing her moping around, but she is fine. She was putting herself out there and then he decided to come back.

Great.

"I'm fine." she tried to make her voice sound nonchalant. She could see the disbelief in Rose's eyes. Daphne desperately tried not to squirm under her friend's knowing gaze. "Is there something else you need? Cause I really need to finish this report."

"Fine," walking towards the door, Rose faced her one last time. "You know you don't have to act fine in front of me, right?"

"I know and I appreciate it. But, I'm fine, really." With a shrug of her shoulders, Rose left her office.

Slumping back into her seat, Daphne could hear her heart racing as she was flooded with thoughts of seeing Simon again. In the last two years, never did she stop thinking about him, even after all the pain she suffered. She often wondered if he was doing okay wherever he was, if he was happy and if he was already with someone new. Now, she is faced with the fact that he was back in town.

How would she act if she saw him again - friendly or cold? The best course of action for her to take was to avoid him. But she knows she can't avoid him forever, even if she wanted to. He was a close friend of her eldest brother. She was bound to run into him sooner or later.

Daphne just hopes that she won't have to face him soon.