He was in the closet picking out a tie to wear. I was sitting on his bed watching him. He was so handsome standing there being disgusted with every tie he tried on. I don't even know why he tries, he doesn't wear them. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt with tiny white squares. He was also wearing dark, dark jeans with a nice belt. He had his shirt tucked in with his sleeves rolled up his forearms. Texas really changed him. He got taller, tanner, sexier, muscular, and cleans up much nicer than I can remember.
Once again he decided to go on without a tie. When he was begining to put on his black jacket, I thought of one thing I have always wanted to do. I wasn't sure if I should have done it, but I did it anyway. I stood up when he looked at me with his greenish eyes, with a conventional stare, and all at once I walked up to him, grabbed him by the collar, and kissed him.
Our lips touched and I lost the pressure I have dreamed of putting upon his lips. It felt so real. His lips were chapped but comfortable to kiss. I was so focused on how real this slight of a kiss was that I couldn't concentrate on how I wanted to kiss him.
While our lips were still latched, he pushed me back gently and slowly until he stopped. Then he pushed me back down, sitting on the bed, and broke the kiss saying, "No. I cant. I'm sorry." He spoke it in a painful yet caring way. I felt ashamed of what I had done. It didn't go at all how I had planned. I wanted to kiss him the way Barbara Stanwyck kissed Gary Cooper in the old film Ball of Fire. In a meaningful way, luring him into my heart, showing him how much I wanted him, and for him to change his views on our friendship.
After that, he put on his jacket, looked away, and walked out the door. All I could do was sit there and think about how strangely real that kiss felt. For a 17 year old girl who has never kissed before, I had just experienced a tragic rejection of what I wanted. Why couldn't I get over him? Why hasn't he slammed the door? Before I knew it, it was time for a new dream.
