Loki x reader ( slow burn)

Dysphoria and scars

A/n: I think I'm going crazy, 12k??? Woah. Anyway, I just deep cleaned my room and now everything smells like bleach, lol.
Warning: gender dysphoria, abuse/torture, slurs, mention of self harm
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You took a deep breathe and knocked gently on Loki's door, waiting for a response. When none was given you knocked again slightly louder.
"He's asleep. He won't talk to anyone."
"Really? Its only been four days."
Thor smiled gently.
"Please look after him."
"I will, Thor."

You kissed his cheek lightly and quietly slipped into Loki's room. Even in sleep, his expression was was still sorrowful. You walked over to his side of the bed and crouched so that his face was level with yours. You gently stroked his hair, sighing as a tear slipped from your eye. You placed each of your middle fingers on his temples and focused.

You stood in a dark room. Thanos standing over a limp body on floor. You heard shuddered breaths and small whimpers. You bit your lip to stop tears spilling from your eyes.
"Get up." The mad titan kicked the body on its back, making familiar strained screams. Too familiar.
"Get him in the chamber." One green girl with red tips in her black hair reluctantly hooked her arm under the body's and lifted him up. His blood soaked, raven locks fell around his shoulders as a bald, part mechanic, blue girl opened what looked like a glass tube.

They both lifted the man into the chamber and closed it.
"The more you resist, the hotter it will get." The blue girl muttered and whispered something to the body. She flicked a switch and the chamber glowed orange.
"So, will you go to earth?"
"Not for you." The body weakly responded.
"Turn it up."

A dial was turned slightly.
"Do I look like I want to waste time?"
"No." The blue girl answered the titan.
"Then turn it up more."
The turned the dial more until a smirk appeared on Thanos' face and she stopped. Small groans came from the chamber which caused the green skinned girl to look away.
"So, I'll ask once more. Will you go to earth? Or do I have to pay mother and brother a visit? I wonder how father will react when he finds out his sons a faggot."
"Please just agree" The green girl spoke softly but with grit in her voice. The groans slowly turned into ragged screams.

"Fine, please just leave them alone."
You stepped forward reluctantly. The girls lifted the man out of the chamber and his head hung so his hair covered his most likely bleeding face. They placed him as gently as they could on his knees. Thanos took out a knife and held it to the body's chest.
"He agreed." The blue girl said confused.
"What are you doing?" Panic glistening in the green girls eyes.
"I'll have my fun with him first."

You closed your eyes as you didn't want to see anymore. Screams filled the room but you couldn't bring your self to cover your ears or escape the memory.
"Tell the chitari, Loki will be ready for them soon."
"Yes father." The girls said in unison.

You opened your eyes and removed your fingers from Loki's temples.
"I didn't want you to see that."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"That you had to go through that." You start kissing his knuckles and holding them tight.
"I shouldn't have left you, I'm sorry."

"You having to be sorry for anything ."
"I do but lets not get into that now. You wanna tell me what happened?"
"On the mission, I-I had to kiss this man to keep my cover, and I started worrying about what happened on sakaar. And I didn't want to lose you again. Then I started getting flashbacks to sakaar and thanos when he-" tears streamed down both yours and Loki's faces. Loki lifted his hand and brushed it over his neck before fear glazing over his eyes.

"Loki? Lokes, come back to me darling." You reached for his face only for him to flinch. You retracted your hand, looking frantically from your hand to his face.
"I-I'm sorry. Oh Norns. Lokes, its me okay. Its y/n, its okay. You're safe. Its okay, I love you."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't worry yourself darling."