Sad Catradora One-shots ☆

O n P a p e r

Hey hey hey me again!
This story is rlly sad and includes some mentions of, TW, suicidal thoughts, not too bad tho. And again, the story gets better when you get deeper into it!
Anyways i hope you enjoy!

Being on Horde Prime's ship was boring to say the least. The only thing Catra could do those days was to just roam around the ship, talk to Sparkles and eat dinner with Horde Prime. That was basically what her day consisted of. She wanted to do something else. So she decided to start writing down her days on the ship. Sounds kinda lame you might say, but for her it was the best thing she's ever done. Not being able to express your emotions without feeling vulnerable and weak was definetly a problem for Catra. She wanted to be powerful, to seem powerful and brave, so that nothing could get in her way.
Writing for her was the only escape she had from that power-hungry, aggressive, dark world where she couldn't cry, talk about her emotions or do anything without feeling and being told she's too vulnerable and weak.

She wrote into her notebook everyday. She stole the notebook from one of Prime's rooms on the ship, while roaming around, doing nothing as usual. She would write down her feelings about all of this, sometimes how her day went, but what was most important to her, was when she would write about Adora. She wrote about how much she missed her, how much she wished she could say sorry, how much she did to her that she felt horrible about.

Her notebook mostly consisted of her writing down about Adora and putting herself down.
She would never admit this, but she was a very insecure person. Her will to live died down after that little therapy talk Double Trouble gave her. She realized that they were right. She drives everyone away. She's unlovable, a monster, a failure, is what she would call herself in her notes. She thought she was the one who drove Adora away. She was to blame for everything, not Adora. Of course, the pain Adora put her through definetly wasn't forgotten while becoming more and more of a villain, but she realized she can't blame Adora for everything. It definetly impacted her acts, but it wasn't Adora's fault what she became. A monster, is what she would call herself. A monster, for attacking Brightmoon. A monster, for killing innocent people. A monster, for taking over cities. A monster for destroying properties. A monster for hurting people. But most of all, a monster for hurting Adora. She would never forgive herself for these things. Even if everyone forgave her, which would never happen, she still wouldn't forgive herself. She wanted everything to be over. She didn't know if she wanted it to be over, or restart it all. Well, both of those things meaning her gone, which she thought was the best solution. If she would be gone, she wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. Everyone would be happy, for getting rid of this monster.

Her notebook was getting fuller and fuller everyday until she was almost out of paper. She made a note to herself that once she's out of paper, she would do something good. Something to benefit the world, Etheria, the people of Etheria, Adora.

She was pacing around the ship, looking for any room or ship that she could help Glimmer escape on. She knew Adora was coming for her, even if it were 99% chance of death, she would still do it. That's just how she is. She was looking around until she finally found what she was looking for.
She peered around the corner and watched, as she watched Prime's clones teleporting themselves somewhere. Probably to Etheria. She finally knew what she needed to do, to make all of this right. Well, not all but something at least. After her plan, that she assumed would succeed, she would probably get tortured and killed by Horde Prime. She had accepted her faith and knew there was no going back from this.

She went back into her room to write into her notebook for the last time.
She opened it up and flipped through the pages. Some were ripped out, or partially ripped cause of her anger getting the better of her while writing them. She took her pen and wrote for the last time.