After all this time? Always...

Original Killer

I feel so alone

Expellliarmus, Expecto patronum, Obilviate... Avada Kadavra. They are just a few of the spells I know. The last one kills, it doesn't even care who or what it kills, it just does it. Without warning or without time, and with a blink of an eye they are gone. Why anyone would use that spell out of the 3 unforgivable curses I don't know. Take me for example, if I had to use any of them it would be imperio.  Imagine having all control over a person,  their thoughts, their feelings and emotions... their hearts.

Funny thing is I have learnt all of this whilst in the comfort of the dark cellar that I have been existing in most of my life, you cant really call it living when you never see anyone apart from your adopted father. 5490 days I have been hiding, cowering away from the unknown, from the "original killer" as Sirius calls him. Why is he so dramatic? I mean HE'S DEAD and even if he wasn't he doesn't even know I exist. No one does.

But answer me this. Why do I have to cower in the shadows, no one knowing I am alive or even born to begin with, yet my famous twin brother harry gets all the glory. The boy who lived.. that's what they call him. But what about me! I want a cool name like that. The girl who hid, got a ring to it don't you think. Anyway my point is, why does he get to carry on living his life and I have to be trapped from the rest of the world. Its unfair! I don't even want to go to Hogwarts, I never even want to meet him I just want to be free.....

Ava...Ava.. AVA! The loud shout from Sirius distracted me from my emotions. If I didn't write them down in my diary I think that I would explode. I turned around in my squeaky rusty chair to face the same moldy 4 walls I had seen for 15 years of my life. Sirius had tried to make it homely though, he had put pictures on the wall and fairy lights around. Our two double beds were squished in one corner of the room and the kitchen/ dining room/ living space in the other. Nothing could distract you from the constant smell of damp and mold, however, once you have that smell circulating in your nose 24/7 you kind of get used to it. Sirius walked through the rotten door into the room with an odd sort of smile on his face that he only does when he is nervous or scared.
He was a ragged looking man, he hardly ever took care of himself, he would rather make sure that I look semi-decent. His oily black hair was knotted down his back, and the wrinkles on his face highlighted his past struggles. On his left eye there was a scar that he got when I was 6 fighting off a death eater. I was grateful for Sirius, he has always been there for me.
As he looked at me the odd smile grew larger, I then noticed the bag of treats that had came all the way from honey dukes in Hogsmead. Okay I thought to myself, he has definitely done something. Before a word came out of his mouth I jumped in and said "what have you done."

"why do you always have to assume that I have done something, can't I just buy my amazing beautiful god daughter a treat for once?" he replied still with the awkward smile forever growing on his face. I looked at him with my arms crossed, like I would believe that, he always does this when he has news I am going to hate. "Sirius, just tell me," I told him in a quiet and serious tone. With a sigh he put down the bag on the dining room table and sat on the chair next to me.
"I have been talking to Dumbledore and we both agree that there is no danger anymore." He said with the same grin on his face.
"REALLY! Does that mean I am free," I replied now sharing the same grin.
"Well erm.. we have both thought that maybe it is time you go to Hogwarts."
When Sirius said this my heart dropped. Why would I ever want to go there, I don't even want to meet Harry. My mind started swirling around with the thought of me having to explain to him my story and every thought of meeting other people made me feel sick to my stomach.
"WHAT!! I have told you I DON'T WANT TO GO!!" I shouted as I stood up and stormed off the the moody mattress I call my bed. Sirius followed me of course, he never let me have my moment. I sat down on the bed next to me and said in a sympathetic tone "I know it's scary Ava, but we can't hide forever." What he said made sense to me, but the thought of facing him made me want to curl up into a little ball.

After an hour of talking I finally agreed to go. Anything is better than staying in this dump, and I will be free (sort of). Even though I have never been so afraid, I have been through worst. I have been hiding for 15 years of my life, going to a school surely isn't as bad as that.
I mean I am the girl who hid after all.