not The Perfect Life

Chapter 1

Chapter1

Saturday, 27th of April 2019

My eyes are closed. I screw them as shut as I possibly can. It is too loud to concentrate. People discuss and scream. How did I get here? For some reason I thought this was a fantastic idea. I hate crowds of people. Actually I hate people. They are so complicated and there is no way to understand or study them especially when they are in a huge crowd. There is no way to be in control of the situation. Especially this one.

I am in the middle of a protest. A lot has happened during this year. Actually I didn't wanna go to this protest. I didn't want to but something deep down in my guts told me to go. Now I'm here. It gets tighter and tighter around me. People push each other. Are they protesting together for something or just against themselves? Slowly I try to open my eyes. Just a tiny bit to try to understand what is going on.

There are so so so many people around me. If I didn't see it I wouldn't believe it. I look through the rabble and see a few acquaintances but mostly there are just strangers I've barely even seen before. I only knew a few kids even though we are going to the same school. Why have I never seen these people?

Suddenly everything gets way worse. The air is getting scarcer and I seem to be drowning in the round. Everything that is audible is just screaming. After this protest I will probably be deaf. I notice how I start to sink to the ground. I can not really comprehend what is happening. I mean I am not in any kind of pain but I feel really lost. Soon there is no longer any conversation to be identified. Am I dying right now? In a crowd of people? And what would kill me in here? Death because of stress caused by a demonstration because a young teenage girl couldn't handle it? Drowning in scream and sweat?

I can hardly keep my eyes open as I notice something. Over my head I can see a hand. I know this hand. You can clearly see that this hand was looking and searching for something or someone. I know who it belongs to. I get up as fast as I can and reach for it. It pulls me out of this hell of a crowd. While this happens I roam very close to all the people. If anyone of them has an infectious illness then I am definetely catching it too. Everyone is sweating a lot. This is like one of the grossest moments of my life.

One last jolt is missing and I'm free again. The air comes back and I slowly start to feel better. Now I can clearly see who saved me out of this mess. Secretly I already knew that when I saw his hand. He smiles mischievously at me.

"Don't laugh at me, you troll.", I laugh while I am still a little bit ashamed. He inspects me from head to toe.

"Are you alright?", he asks while trying to hold in his giggle.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, everything's fine."

"Why are you even here? Weren't you the one giving me a big presentation why this protest is wrong and why I definetely should not consider going."

"I don't know.", I answer a little annoyed, "Just please don't ask again."

"Can we please leave then?", he asks quietly.

"Yes, please!"

I look around. For a moment I didn't even know where I was or where I can go now. But that doesn't matter shortly after anymore because he still holds my hand. My hand lays in a strong hand that guides me. We're walking down on of the street together. The protest gets quiter the further we move away from it.

"Where do you wanna go?", I ask curiously.

"Just far away from here. That whole thing is way too much for me and I don't wanna be seen here.", he answers in a monotone way without even looking at me.

"Why should I trust you?", I ask sceptically.

"You wanna go back to the others?"

Of course not. There is probably nothing in this world that could get me to go back. We just keep on walking. Nobody says anything. It's been minutes since he has last turned around and looked at me. He just keeps pulling me and guiding me. I still trust him though. We haven't known each other for that long but our short time together has created a special bond.

Suddenly he stops, turns around and looks at me.

"Why...why are you stopping?"

"We are here."

He lets go of my hand. It is totally wet and sweaty. I can't tell if that's my sweat, his or the sweat of the people in the crowd of the protest. The demonstration was hardly notable now. Then I start wandering around and checking out where we are. It is the stone path. A few bikers are riding past us and I can see an old lady with a tiny doggy going on a walk. Then I see a canal river. There is also a footbridge in front of it.

I look at him and rave: "Oh my God! It is so beautiful out here!"

Although you can still hear music and screams in the background, I can concentrate my focus on the chirping of birds flying around. The sun shines through the leaves of the trees. I take a few steps closer to the pier. To be honest, the water in the canal doesn't look particularly nice. It's deep brown and you can see food scraps and rubbish floating in it. Nevertheless, I walk towards it and I notice how he follows me. I stand on the edge of the pier and close my eyes. In the meantime I have completely forgotten about the demo. I breathe in and out deeply. It's just a perfect moment.

"You wanna sit with me?", he asks.

I open my eyes and look at him. He sits on the jetty and lets his legs dangle over it so that his feet brush against the water. Then he looks at me with his bewitching dog eyes as if he is just begging for me to sit down next to him. So I slowly bend down and sitcross-legged for him. He's still staring at me. Then he smiles.

"What is up with you?", I ask while laughing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why..why are you looking at me like this?"

"Oh, it's...it's nothing, I..", he looks to the water, "I just love looking at you, you know?"

Both of our faces are turning red and we can't stop grinning. Then I shake my head briefly and look at him again. After all, I'm still curious.

"So..why are we here?"

He still looks at the water.

"I..I have to..no, I...I want to tell you something.", he stutters.

Suddenly he's very serious. It really seems to bother him. He takes several deep breaths in and out. Then he frantically reaches for my hand.

"You...you can tell me anything.", I try to comfort him.

Then he starts talking. He is very tentative and speaks slowly and softly. I have to try really hard to understand him. He's probably just making sure no one can hear him. I listen to him very carefully. Suddenly it's like my blood is freezing. I don't want to believe what he's telling me here. He starts crying and panting. My breath stops and my head can no longer understand anything. How had he become for me now? I do not feel any discomfort or fear, but the shock hits me very much. I think about it again. He looks at me expectantly. There is also a certain fear and despair reflected in his eyes. What should I do now? He needs me and I can't let him down. I start thinking clearly again. I take a deep breath and repeat in my head what I just heard.

And all of a sudden it makes sense.