Louise l.s. (COMING SOON)

Prologue & Disclaimer

Louis was eight when he knew something wasn't right. He felt wrong, like something wasn't right with him. He didn't like the things other boys his age liked. He was more friendly towards the girls, which he couldn't quite understand why. The boys at his school were obnoxious, so were a few girls, but most of them were quiet, and well behaved like him.

Louis was eleven when he realized that something wasn't quite right with himself. His body didn't fit him, and he felt unhappy. He felt especially troubled when his parents explained to him what "gay" meant. Most boys his age had small crushes on the girls in their classes, but Louis did not feel anything towards the girls, if anything, he felt a special connection to his best friend Stan. Louis' parents had explained to him, that "Gay people were selfish, and confused." Louis didn't want to be confused. He wanted to be happy, and live a happy life with a nice woman, and maybe some children. That's why Louis made himself date a girl named Trisha. They broke up a few days later.

Louis was thirteen when Stan came out of the closet as gay. Louis' parents said that Stan would no longer be allowed to see Louis. Louis also moved towns, and switched schools that year. He never really understood why, and always thought about poor Stan left back at home.

Louis was thirteen-and-a-half when he realized that he was unhappy being a boy. He was much more into typical girl things, like animals, and pretty things like flowers, glitter, and boys. He had a longer haircut, and always wore bright colors like pink and light-blue. Louis' parents tried to get him into soccer, and other sports. Louis did like soccer, and stayed in the sport. His parents were proud that Louis was finally "acting more boyish".

Louis was thirteen and three-fourths when he asked to be called "Louise" at school. He felt the name Louise suit him better. His teacher shook her head disapprovingly, telling him she would not call him a different name. Louis couldn't understand why she refused? She called the childre in his class with nicknames by their nickname, not their full name, so why couldn't she call him Louise? Later, the teacher phoned his parents, explaining the situation. Louis' parents explained to him why that was wrong, and said Louis could only be addressed as his birth name, Louis. So, Louis became unhappy --he liked being called Louise so much more--.

Louis was fifteen when he realized that he couldn't keep acting like a girl. He needed to "man up", as his male peers told him. He asked another girl out. Her name was Hannah, and she was nice to Louis, but he always felt empty, like he was missing something. Hannah and Louis went to a few dances together, and they went on small dates outside of school. It was nice, up until Hannah decided to kiss Louis, then he realized he didn't want a girlfriend, he wanted a boyfriend, but he didn't want to admit it to himself, or anybody else.

Louis was sixteen when his sister Charlotte had gotten caught kissing a girl in her bedroom. Louis found himself moving away from the gay again (as he and his second eldest sister Felicite called it). It killed him to see the family moving away again, Louis was just starting to fit in again, but now they had to start all over for the second time. Louis became depressed, why couldn't Louis' family accept people for who they were?

Louis was seventeen when he first attempted suicide. He had come to terms with the fact that he could not be who he was in the circumstances he was in, and it killed him. He also thought about the possibility of being gay, and he was scared. He felt so empty, so small. He tried to overdose on tynolel, but it didn't work. The second attempt was by far the worst, considering that Louis was so close to dying until his friend Tyler brought him to the hospital.

When Lou was seventeen-and-a-half he went to the school guidance counselor, and told her about his feelings. She asked him if he was transgender, and Louis asked what it meant. "Lou, you are unhappy with the sex you were born as. Open your eyes." She said firmly, and Louis felt so worried, and even more confused. He never went back.

Louis was seventeen-and-three-fourths when he had Lottie dress him up in full girly attire. She put him into a dress, and did his makeup. When he looked in the mirror, he nearly cried. Something felt so right.

Louis was eighteen when he ran away to Los Angeles. There was nothing for him in his tiny town, so he left. He left feeling hopeless. He couldn't stop thinking about what that guidance counselor said, it ate away at his mind. Was Louis transgender? He was unhappy being a boy, and he did sometimes think about becoming a girl, but his family would not agree. If he was serious about transitioning, he would have to wait.

(Disclaimer: This was probably so horrible and probably uncorrectly written but oh well.

so i came up with this idea after hearing about the tragic deaths of Leelah and Xander (Look all over tumblr if you have not heard their stories), and I figured I would write a story to help promote trans awareness, so that we can reach out to those in need, and get them the correct support. This fanfiction will be around 40-ish chapters, and I have not planned it all out yet, but it will mainly focus on Louis coming to terms with the fact that he is transgender (referring to lou as he right now because he still considers himself a male, do not be upset) , and wants to go through with the whole hormone process with Harry's help. Half of the story Louis will be Louis, then Louise will emerge in her great glory. Thanks for reading this story and if anybody wants to pitch an idea for this book in the comments, i would greatly appreciate it. xx)