BTS Sickfic Book 3 //DISCONTINUED//

Intentions > Interpretation

"What are you thinking about?" Jimin asked. Jungkook was sitting on the balcony. Looking at the night sky. It was late and the members are all asleep. Jungkook has felt restless and stressed out lately. He wanted time for himself to breathe.

Jungkook looked over to Jimin. Seeing the member's eyes were wide awake compared to his half-lidded ones.

"Hyung," Jungkook said. He felt at ease. The cold wind brushing through his hair. Jimin looked at him. Seeing how emotional the younger member is looking. He finds it cute.

"You know when I was younger. I always tried to help people." Jungkook said gently.

"But I never knew how to. I would force help because I always wanted something back...Attention." Jungkook added.

"Now, I looked back. I hated myself back then. He tried so hard to help people and stop them from committing harmful things but because he doesn't know how to. Other people interpret it wrongly..." Jungkook muttered.

"I was called mean. People will say im cold, mean. A bully. I always did what I did because I never had a real friend with me." Jungkook added. Eyes watering.

"I tried to be nice, helping people. I did it aggressively and right now, people just see me as someone means. I was desperate for a friend. Someone to stay next to me until we get old. I keep losing them that..."

"I can never commit to promises"

"It's just us sharing what we will do together in the future. Having the time of our lives and then the next thing I know. They are no longer a part of my life and I'm left behind"

Flashback:

"Hey...i heard you were harming yourself. I saw it on your Instagram live. If you need help please come to me." Jungkook said to his friend. The friend nodded but continued to do what he did.

"Please stop doing it! Talk to me please..." Jungkook begged his friend the very next day. The friend continued and so...he told his teacher.

It was all a 12 year old could do. What else is he supposed to do? See his friend harm himself?

"You told teacher?! What if your problem going into people's business." The friend finally said. Jungkook didn't know why he felt angry. He was trying to help but now...he was just being screamed at.

Is this how life works?

He was just supposed to leave people with their own lives and live his own?

"Why are you so annoying? You know that nobody likes you right? You go around offering help but you are ruining their lives. Can you stop bullying people into receiving your help? You're so mean..."

He came back home with tears. All his intentions were just wrong. So he grew. He grew to not care. He grew to ignore everything, even his feelings. He grew up bottling everything and rejecting help as much as he offered them.

Now?

"Why don't you go and help them? You're his friend. Talk to him."

"Do you have emotions? Are you even human? Does a single ounce of feeling exist in you?"

"You hate me, don't you? You don't care about anyone, do you? You are emotionless, aren't you? Why are you so mean? You are always quiet and ignoring everyone. "

It's confusing. How much more words and pressure is there suppose to be placed on someone who had given their heart to everyone but was rejected.

And now giving none and still rejected.

How many more lonely nights and puffy eyes in the morning does he have to go through for people to just understand and accept him.

Grow with him.

Love him.

Let him be him around them?

"Jungkook..." Jimin called him. He snapped out of his trance. Jimin brings out a box of tissues and water.

"You are crying..." Jimin added. Jungkook touches his face and felt the tears. He chuckled. Embarrassed. After so many years of holding his emotions and relying on himself.

He finally lets it go. He achieved his dreams as a singer and grew up with 6 other people who were there for him and stayed by him no matter how much he changed.

They taught him to love.

They taught him loyalty

They taught him happiness.

He finally had someone in life that he knew would stay. Someone that accepts him for who he is.

Jimin pulled the younger male by the waist before patting his hair.

"You must go through a lot. But you know, that's what happens as you grow. You will soon settle down and find the people who you know would stay. You were still immature back then. Many things aren't taught to you so mistakes are bound to happen. We will grow up being people who empathize and guide people to love who they are. Just with our music." Jungkook nodded. Trusting those words.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, hyung..."

"Alright, head to bed. It's going to be 3am soon." Jimin said. Closing the balcony door and headed to bed.

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