Saturday 28th February 2015
Dear Diary
Recently I have been having many questions about things that have been happening and I don't know why. Also I am always feeling so empty inside and sometimes something really simple can make me either want to cry or actually cry. Like the other day I cried over someones death in a book and then for a week after that I couldn't listen to certain songs because they made me upset about it and I don't know why. Currently I have loads of questions about people, mainly who I can trust. This is because Dog (My step-brother) was on the phone to his friend who gets on the same bus as Poppy, Lilac, Wombat and Rabbit, people who I considered to be sort of friends, especially Poppy and Lilac. However Dog's friend was saying that they were saying that they wanted to kill me. I don't know whether this is true or not but I know that if I ask any of them they will say its not true, but I don't know if I can trust them, when I spoke to Dog's friend she sounded serious but I don't know her that well (she isn't Dog's girlfriend). When things like this happen I start to feel panicky and I hate it, always have done, my hands are shaking whilst writing this. It always makes me think about who I know that I can really trust. I thought I could trust Foxglove but that didn't really turn out well. Same with Lavender and Lotus. Lotus is getting nicer now and I talk to her more now.
Some questions I currently have running round my head are:
1. Are Poppy, Lilac, Wombat and Rabbit (sorta) really friends or people I can trust?
2. Why do I always feel how I do, empty?
3. Why do I always feel panicked at question when they're thrown at me?
I have may more but you wont want to read through them. I really hope what I've heard about my 'friends' isn't true but I don't know. I also hope I'm not the only one who feels like this.
From Hannah x
