Nemesis {SuhoxSeojun}

Chapter 6: The longing

The time-space seemed to be cracked. All the fears I had brooded over were engulfed in the breach I was solely responsible for. Seojun never took his eyes off me. He was trying to detect a reaction, a feeling, or maybe a thought, but I couldn't do anything. It happened too fast. He stood a few feet from me, defensive. Even if I wanted to move, to say something, a weight seemed to crush my body. His gaze pinned me to the spot. Anxiety started to wash over me, and my lungs felt suddenly too small, oxygen flying out of them. My throat tightened, like hands around my neck, making me feel breathless. I didn't start the conversation. I just couldn't.

When Seojun broke the silence, I could hear my heart pounding in my chest again.

"It's me...your nemesis?" His hesitant words made me loose ground a little more.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm down a bit. I felt anxiety rising. My head was spinning. "Yes." was the only thing I could manage to whisper.

I heard Seojun put the book down on the table. He exhaled, shakingly, "As I understand... my blood is special to you?"

At the mere mention of it, my throat went dry again. "Yes." Multiple sensations came harassing my body, my thirst becoming evident right now. I hated how my body was sending all those signals to satisfy it. My hands began to tremble, and my chest contracted painfully, my ribs closing around my heart like sharp talons. I clenched my fists till my fingernails sank into my palms, blood dripping from them.

Seojun let out a quavering breath, watching my firm fists. I immediately released them at the realization that it would threaten him, but when more blood sunk to the floor, Seojun flinched. "So...as it says in the book, I'm like a drug to you?" His words were barely above a whisper, responding to the rust of leaves.

I felt the atmosphere collapse, my ears rang, and the temperature rose instantly, or was it my body sensing stress and anxiety piling up? My mind went blank. How he worded his question didn't make a doubt about his insinuation 'are you a threat to me?' was what that meant. I was mortified. My mouth parted, and my shaky exhale broke the tensed silence, "Yes."

Seojun took a step back, frowning. He seemed more upset than afraid. "That's why you got close to me..." His voice grew louder as he bottled a wave of unsuspected anger, "Only for my blood?"

His question brought me back to my senses. I shook my head sharply, already denying all assumptions, "No! Never! When we started talking, I didn't know what you meant to me! I didn't know you were my nemesis, I swear! I never intended to use you, ever!" My voice rose in high pitches, strong, trying to convince my emotions. Desperate.

"Since when do you know?" He cut, his voice going deeper. "Be sincere."

I sighed, passing a hand over my face. I bit my lower lip, "I learned it two months ago..."

Seojun suppressed a bitter laugh, shaking his head. He paused, closing his eyes, taking his time, and when I reopened them, their sharpness made me gulp, "And we have known each other for more than three months now."

Guilt and anxiety made my legs wiggly, "Seojun, I— I swear on everything, I never approached you with malicious intentions. I just wanted to know you!" I said the end a bit too loud, feeling hopeless by the turn of events.

I knew we weren't clarifying anything. We were hurting.

Seojun clenched his jaw. I saw him consider my words but immediately looked away, lowering his head to the ground.

He barely whispered, yet his voice echoed in my head loud and clear, "How am I supposed to trust you now?"

My eyes widened, the tickling of the clock dragging the seconds. I realized, at that precise moment, that my actions had broken his trust. I felt helpless, frozen by his words. I couldn't say anything more when the seconds before my head was full of thoughts and emotions. Yes, maybe, Seojun was right. Maybe, there was no solution. Maybe, it was not going to work from the start. That last thought settled in my head. My arms fell to my sides.