Drawing Rainbows

I always loved going for solitary walks through the park near my house. It was peaceful in there and I knew all the quiet places to stop. It wasn't that I didn't like spending time with people it was just that there was never anyone around to spend time with. One day I was walking through the park on the gravel path as usual. I hadn't gotten very far when I noticed a little girl sitting on one of the park benches that was shaded with deciduous trees. The little girl had big, blue eyes and honey coloured hair. She was colouring in a pink notebook and must have heard me walking because she looked up. She grinned at me and waved. I smiled back quickly and kept walking.

"Can you draw a horse?" she asked. "I'm not good at drawing horses."

"Trust me, I'm probably not any better," I told her. She giggled and gave me a little smile, which made me feel guilty for not being very friendly. "I can try...you better not laugh at me though." I sat down next to her on the bench and she handed me a shiny, polka-dotted pencil and her notebook. She had already drawn what looked like a boat with a bunch of animals on it. She pointed at an empty spot on the boat gesturing for me to draw the horse there.

"Make sure you don't draw it too big because there has to be two of them. My name's Daisy by the way," she explained.

"That's a pretty name," I said complimenting her. "I'm Ava." I started sketching the two horses when I finally realized what I was drawing.

"Is that Noah's ark?" I asked her after tapping the boat with the pencil. She nodded without even looking up from what I was drawing. I added a little bit more detail to the horse's mane and gave the female one a pair of eyelashes, which made Daisy laugh.

"Noah's Ark is one of my favourite bible stories," she explained. I just stared at her blankly. She must've assumed that I didn't know the story. "There were a lot of really mean people on the Earth. God didn't like the bad things they did so he decided to take away the mean people and make nicer people instead. Noah was a very nice person. God loved him very much so God told him to build a big boat to save his family and the animals. They all went inside while it rained and when the rain finally stopped all the bad things were gone and God left a rainbow in the sky to tell Noah that he would never make it rain that much again." She looked down at the picture and then looked back up to tell me something else. "You want to know something cool? That was a true story!" Daisy flashed me a very wide smile and her eyes seemed to sparkle. Her enthusiasm was cute however; it was also making me very uncomfortable so I changed the subject.

"Where are your parents?" I asked her. I had expected one of her parents to show up by that time. She started colouring in the finished horses.

"Oh, they'll be back soon," was all she said as if talking about bible stories in the middle of the park with a complete stranger was totally normal. "So what did you think of the story?" I didn't know how to answer her question.

"It was neat. I don't know if I believe it though," I finally answered. She stopped colouring and looked up at me with wide eyes causing me to backpedal. "I mean I used to believe in all that stuff but it's kind of harder now," I added mentally kicking myself. I really did not want to be talking to an elementary student about God of all topics.

"Why is it harder now?" she asked. Her follow up question was even worse than the first one. She was looking right into my eyes and had abandoned her crayons.

"I'm in a strange spot right now okay? Life's easier when you're little," I stated.

"What do you mean?" she asked. She wouldn't give up.

"Why do you care? It has nothing to do with you!" I snapped. Her big eyes got bigger and she looked hurt. I was about to apologize when to my surprise, she did.

"I'm sorry. You're right it's none of my business," she apologized. There was an awkward silence. I didn't know whether to apologize too or thank her for understanding. Eventually I just made up some excuse to leave that I don't remember anymore and started making my way back home. She waved at me and apologized again. It wasn't even her fault. I waved goodbye to her as I turned the corner.

It was about a 10-minute walk home and as I walked up the driveway I heard the car starting. I had hoped my dad would have already left for work. I caught his eye and he just looked away as he always did. He probably would have run me over had I not moved onto the grass. I snuck under the garage door before it would have crushed me and got inside. There was a note on the dinner table with a recipe attached to it even though I knew my mom was home. I could hear the music coming from her bedroom. I walked into her room hoping maybe she'd acknowledge my presence. She just put headphones in silencing the music and pointed towards the kitchen. Silence can feel really loud.

I knew plenty of teenagers who would have loved to be ignored by their parents who were always pestering them. All I had ever wanted was a parent who would ask me how my day had been. Oh, they'll be back soon Daisy had said fully believing it. If my mother would have told me she'd be back soon I don't know if I would have believed her. I heard shuffling in the halls.

"Why are you home so early?" my mom asked with slurred speech. She looked remarkably like me with her long, dark hair and hazel eyes.   

"Good question," I replied quietly.  

"Don't be smart with me," she scolded. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. My mom hadn't held a conversation with me in a week. Not that I had been counting. "You can't be here. I'm really busy today."

"I was just on my way out," I told her. She poured herself another drink and then realized I was still there. She waved her hands at me signalling for me to leave so I left. I decided to go find Daisy and apologize to her.

I eventually came across the bench we had been sitting on and she was gone. I noticed a piece of paper propped up on the bench. It was the drawing we had made together and on the top left corner she had written our names down in messy, childish printing. There was a little arrow in the corner so I flipped the paper over to reveal a rainbow. The colours were in the wrong order and I could tell she had tried really hard to colour within the lines that she had drawn for herself. It wasn't the rainbow that made me cry. It was the fact that I had hurt the feelings of the only person who had ever noticed me. She had made me not feel invisible and I had hurt her. I was sitting on the bench wiping my eyes when I heard that beautiful voice again.

"Ava, are you okay?" Daisy cried jogging up to reach me. I looked up at her and gave up trying to stop the tears. She sat beside me and turned to give me a hug. She wrapped her little arms around me and I held onto her tightly.  She later let go of me and pointed at the rainbow she had drawn. She traced the curve of it with her finger.

"Remember how God gave Noah a rainbow to tell him he would never let the it rain that much again. I think He also made it to show Noah how much He loved him. Jesus told his friends to show God's love to everyone and whenever I see a rainbow I see it, as a little reminder of how much Jesus loves us. That's why I gave you the rainbow. I wanted to show you how much Jesus loves you," She smiled at me again and wiped some of the tears out of my eyes with her sleeve.

"Thank you," I said. It was all I could get out. I wiped my eyes again and finally stopped crying. I wasn't just thanking her I was thanking God too. I prayed for the first time in many years and felt His peace come over me. I had never felt so loved in my entire life and as I walked home that day with the love of Jesus in my heart, I couldn't stop smiling.