Apocalypse Now

Chapter 17: Alone

Bit of a short chapter but its to set things up for future chapters. So just bear with me.
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Next morning I woke to hear sounds coming from the kitchen, most likely someone making breakfast. I got up off the floor, stretching out the kinks and put on my hoody. I grabbed my bow and made my way quietly towards the front door, avoiding whoever was in the kitchen.

I had just closed the door, when T-dog gave me a look.

“Where you goin?” he asked.

“Hunting” I said flatly.

“Ya shouldn't be going out there alone” he said looking back to the door.

“I can handle myself...just need some time to myself, clear my head.” I said quietly, “I won't be gone long.”

“Be careful” he said before he nodded at me and I headed out the back towards the tree line, not looking back.

It was reasonably quiet in amongst the trees, the occasional scurry of an animal out of sight. I held my bow and a bolt loaded in the string, ready. I stalked through the trees slow and quiet, looking for any trails. So far I was coming up empty though.

I paused hearing shuffling ahead of me. I scanned around me and spotted two walkers coming in my direction. Can't we just get one day without running into one of these bastards, I sighed to myself. I took a breath, releasing the bolt and easily took the first one down. The second one noticing his fallen comrade, bared its teeth and charged towards me. I barely had enough time to line up the shot, I dropped the bow behind me, kicked it in the chest, sending it on to its back. I quickly put a knee to its chest, its arms reaching out towards me and plunged the bolt through its skull. It grew limp beneath my knee and I withdrew the bolt, wiping off the blood on the grass. I stood and angrily put he heel of my boot through its skull for good measure and stress relief. I turned to pick up my bow and started to make my way back towards the property, coming across a few rabbits.

As I slunk back to the house, I made my way to the front. T-dog was still standing watch. He looked relieved to see I was back.

“Anyone notice?” I asked. He shook his head, “I bought breakfast” I said holding up the rabbits. He smiled, then it quickly disappeared as he looked me over.

“Looks like you ran into trouble?” he said raising an eyebrow.

I looked down at my hands, blackish blood splattered over my hands and arms, probably on my face too, I thought.

“Yeah two walkers, took them out, wasn't a problem I swear. I should go clean myself up before someone else sees.” I said handing the rabbits to him. I walked over to the water pump and grabbed the bucket beside it and started filling it with some water. I grabbed the bandanna from my back pocket and dipped it in the water. I scrubbed my face, then my hands and arms, rinsing the cloth and wringing it free of water.

Walking back over to T-dog, he looked me over again, “better” was all he said.

“Take those inside and get some rest. I'll take over for you.” I said to him. He smiled and patted me on the shoulder as he walked by back to the house with the rabbits.

I leant against the railing coming off the porch, my bow leaning against my legs.

“Where'd you get those?” I heard Rick say frustrated inside. I was mentally preparing myself for the ear bashing I was about to receive. I waited and waited but he never came out.

Finally I heard the door behind me. I didn't turn around, I wasn't in the mood for dealing with Rick. My mind was telling to bolt but I stood my ground, not moving from my spot, maybe gripping my bow a little too tightly.

I was surprised when Maggie came up beside me with another plate of food. I instantly loosened my grip on the bow.

“Have you slept at all?” she asked concerned.

“Think I got a few hours” I said continuing to look forward. I saw her smirk out of the corner of my eye.

“Oh really...” she teased.

“I should have stayed on watch. Would have been a lot safer.” I grumbled.

“What do you mean?” she asked confused.

“Well when I went into what I thought was an empty room” I glared at her, she looked even more confused by my reaction, “It was dark. I sat on the bed. Daryl caught me in a choke hold. Told me he wasn't interested, I was pathetic and told me to fuck off. So I bolted.” I huffed.

She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I'm so sorry. Glenn and I were both sure he was into you. We thought you both just needed a push. I swear I didn't think he would act like that. I'm so sorry” she said and I knew she was sorry, they both had good intentions I think. She pulled me into a hug but I could feel myself putting up the walls.

Over the next couple of days I avoided Daryl as much as I could. When he did catch sight of me, I could feel his gaze on me, as I walked in the opposite direction. This confused me to no end. I was doing what he wanted and staying away from him.

Rick was still pissed with me too, so I stayed away from him as well. The list of people distancing themselves from me was starting to grow. Some of that was my fault as I was starting to distance myself from the group, spending most of my time on watch or patrol or hunting. No one questioned me when I went hunting now, especially if I bought something back. If T-dog was on watch he would always tell me to be careful. I think he was waiting for me to just not return one day. Like I would disappear. I had certainly considered it but I was afraid to be on my own again. Someone would usually ask if I wanted to join them for dinner but I would never join them, I had to be on watch, or something to that effect if someone asked.

I think I was trying to mentally prepare myself for life on my own, when the group decided I was no longer needed. So I kept my distance. When people did ask me questions, my answers were usually pretty short. Only three people tried to talk to me still, Maggie, Glenn and T-dog.

Maggie and I were out on patrol, just near the perimeter at the gate.

“Are you leaving?” she asked stopping in front of me.

I stopped, almost walking into her.

“I...don't know...I'm not sure I belong any more.” I said my eyes finding the ground fascinating at this very moment.

“You need to snap out of this. You are a part of the group. You gotta stay. Things will blow over with Rick and Daryl.” she said, the last part very quietly.

“If things stay hostile then I probably won't have a choice in the matter Maggie. Both Daryl and Rick have made it pretty clear. I don't want to be out there on my own but they might choose my fate for me.” I sighed. “I promise I won't leave.”

She hugged me tight, grinning. “Good. I'd miss ya if you were gone” she said.

I looked back out ahead of me. “Unless I'm forced to” I thought to myself.

It was mid-afternoon and I was on watch alone at the moment. We had been lucky at this house, only a few strays. The surrounding woods giving us a little protection. For how long we weren't sure though.

Glenn came out to take over for me. “You doin' ok?” he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders, “Just don't disappear on us” he said trying to smile. I tried to smile back.

“I'm gonna go hunt while its still light, won't go far. See if I can find anything for dinner” I said making my way towards the trees.

Bit of an emo chapter this one lol sorry