I Believe You

Memories

You get disappointed time and time again. But the most painful thing is that the people you protect are doing their best to bring you down. You do good, but they reward you with evil. Anyone you trust will hurt you. In the end you learn not to love anyone, not to trust anyone. But one day, someone comes along, you want to trust him and love him. You are afraid of being abandoned again, of being hurt, of everything. "What should I do?" You ask yourself this question over and over again. But you will never find the answer.

I've had all of these feelings. I wanted to trust, couldn't. I wanted to stretch out my hand, but was afraid they would let go of the hand they were holding. I never really knew what these words "friend, love, trust" mean. My phone didn't ring once. I waited, maybe someone will call and ask how I am. But there wasn't even a message. They would only call me when they needed help. They divide their troubles with me and expect me to seek solutions to their problems. As usual, I would forget about my own problems and find solutions for them. I'm pretty good at this.

An advice l always give myself is "Listen to people's troubles, find solutions to them, but don't tell anyone about your troubles, pain, fears. Because people use them to destroy you. They say that your tears and feelings are a lie, they hurt even more." Sometimes I think that people who have lost hope and have no desire to live are like stars. The stars light our night, but they themselves are trapped in darkness. But even in the dark they try to shine. People who suffer and have no hope of life try to shine just like a star. They try to show that they have a place in this life, that they are not useless. That's why the stars have always valuable to me. Just like him. I got to know him a year ago. But I lost it.