Innocence Lost

Prologue:

a/n
I had written a story when i was 13 xD but i went over it and realized how messed up and stupid the plot was and completely quit and deleted it anyways this is something else sorry if its not interesting enough for you don't like it, i tired. ):

leave comments please (:
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prologue:

"Excuse me miss"

I felt a hand softly tap me on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes taking in my surroundings. I realized i was in the city library just like every other day. I would come here after school ever since freshmen year ,it was sort of my safe place. I volunteered here and I would sometimes sit in the aisles and read books or do homework and once in a while take a nap.
Knowing that this might be my last year coming here everyday since I'm in my senior year of high school was sort of depressing. I mean i still can but i don't like going out much.

The security guard bent down next to me, an old adorable man who's name was Bill.

"Oh good you're awake, i'm closing in 5 minutes so gather your stuff" he replied looking at the mess of papers around me.

"Wait- 5 minutes? What time is it?!" I replied adjusting my thick rimmed glasses and panicking while gathering my papers mostly homework and school work around me and stuffing them into my green plaid knapsack.

"Its about to be 8" he replied.

"What-?" Oh no i usually didn't stay out this late and walking home at night terrified me.

I ran out the door after telling Bill bye and telling him i was okay walking alone even though I wasn't. I hugged my knit cardigan tightly as the cool air of the night hit me. I reached the sidewalk and tossed my bag on my shoulders. I lived about 10 minutes away but the only short cut was the alley nearby and no way was i going to walk through an alley at night. My other option wasn't that great either it meant going through 3 quiet dark streets with nothing but the dim light of the sidewalk lights. This city wasn't dangerous but i couldn't say since i was never out this late.

Some of you might be thinking late?! Its barely 8! but heres the thing i have no friends to go out with and right after going to the library after school i would leave at 5:30 and go straight home or sometimes pick up groceries but that didn't take me long i would eventually get home by 6. I lived with my aunt but she was never home either after all she was young, 28 to be exact, she would go out with friends or work late and come home once in a while to check on me, leave me money, change or grab clothes and things and leave. Don't get me wrong she was great but what would she do sitting at home taking care of a 17 year old about to be 18 instead of still being young and enjoying life.

The only time she would actually stay with me was when my dad, her brother, passed away 4 years ago of depression, he never moved on and i guess no matter what he still loved my mom, i was 12 and it was a hard time, my mother left as soon as I was born the reason was never told to me. Whenever i'd asked my dad all i read was sadness in his eyes and he would tell me she was somewhere traveling getting ideas for her new books and i guess thats where i got my passion for books. I had one book she wrote, i had found it in my mom's stuff she left behind when i was 8. My dad let me have it along with a picture of her smiling wearing a yellow sundress she was beautiful and i looked like her a lot. I knew he would lie about her traveling though i remember i found out on my 11th birthday my dad accidentally muttered it out when he was asleep on the couch.

I remember him saying "don't leave me i love you" and "i cant take care of this kid alone" " i love you please stay with me Amanda" i remember crying that night and every night after that blaming myself because my mother left me. I would always ask myself if it was my fault and i would often convince myself it was. If i was never born my mom and dad would probably be happy right now.