Ezra

Don't look

I woke up to the sun gently stroking its warm light against my face. The first thought that rushed into my head? Mark.

He's constantly on my mind, now more than ever.

After spacing out into the distance, I eventually got out of bed, wondering where it all gone wrong in our relationship. Was I to blame? Was it because I wasn't good enough for him? Or did the 'honeymoon' phase simply wear off?

I tried to push all the negative thoughts out of my head and just told myself that he probably felt he wasn't deserving of love anymore and that he didn't get the validation he craves from just one person, but I knew he was a nice guy.

Sometimes cheating can be forgiven if you're blinded by love.

I went to check my phone, hoping for a text from him. There wasn't. I put my phone away and concluded that the only way I could forget Mark was if I was busy with my days and had something to do all the time to keep me distracted.

I checked up on Bonnie who fell asleep on the same bed as me.

Surprisingly, I woke up before her. She usually wakes up a couple of hours early before me and makes both of us breakfast, so I decided to surprise her by buying her favorite breakfast.

I chose an outfit from Bonnie's closet. She had always let me borrow her clothes.

I walked out of her apartment as quietly as possible to avoid waking her up. It was pretty chilly outside and my t-shirt barely even covered my shoulders or stomach, so I had to walk fast to the train station before I got sick.

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As I arrived at the train station I noticed that the regular train I take wasn't running, so I had to take train number 7 and then number 5 to go to the breakfast store. I was annoyed and pissed, things like this always happen to me; I can't have one good day without something sabotaging it.

While I waited for the train, I noticed an odd-looking figure standing motionless near the edge of the safety lines on the tracks, when my vision finally focused.

I saw a tall, brunette boy with honey brown eyes; he was flawless. His attractiveness was almost intimidating.

I never used to notice other boys because I was always with Mark, and it felt wrong to even look at another guy, but now that I'm single, it's nice to finally get that sudden butterfly feeling deep down in your stomach.

I had been staring at the boy for so long that I hadn't realized he was staring back. I began to blush and I softly smiled at him. His eyes swiveled wildly, and when he smiled, he developed a dimple on one side of his cheek. It was adorable. He was adorable.

Suddenly he began walking towards me, my heart began to race and my hands began to sweat. I was at a loss for what to do without appearing awkward.

How was I supposed to flirt when I hadn't properly talked to a boy in over 6 years? Oh my God. This is my worst nightmare; I have no idea how to strike up a conversation with a boy, let alone a hot one.

I couldn't help but notice his physique as he walked in my direction. It was exactly right. There's no way he doesn't have a girlfriend; girls are surely fawning over him simply by looking at him. As he approached closer and closer, I could feel my hands trembling. Suddenly, I looked over and saw the train I'd been waiting for arrive, I heaved a sigh of relief and got on the train, choosing the first free seat I saw.

As the train doors closed, I noticed him peering out the window at me. Then the regret set in: I should have just spoken to him, instead of being so awkward and walking off.

I managed to forget about the whole thing and started scrolling mindlessly through my phone. Then the train unexpectedly stopped.

"That was quick," an elderly woman remarked next to me as I rose up swiftly to catch the next train. I strolled to the next train, which was already there, and boarded.

Something, though, felt unpleasant, like a terrible gut sensation in my stomach. Maybe it was because I was starving and hadn't eaten anything all morning, or maybe it was because I was still ashamed of the incident that happened with the guy at the train station. I shook the feeling off and started staring out the window as the train moved at a rapid pace, which is common for contemporary trains to do.

Suddenly the train ran off the railway and just simply crashed, I don't know what happened but I felt the train tip over in less than ten seconds.

It seemed like an eternity.

Time didn't just stand still, it ceased to exist.

We were there for an eternity and no time at all.

People and baggage came rushing in my direction since I was sitting on the right side, the same side the train was leaning over to.

I couldn't seem to control my thoughts; all I could think about was Bonnie's t-shirt becoming damaged and her being angry; supposedly, that's what happens when you go into shock.

My mind became a hopeless loop of questions, and then suddenly my life was an open-ended question. I didn't know how far the train skidded on its side, it also didn't seem to be coming to an end. It continued to shake fiercely until it came to a halt. Everything went quiet and blank. I had no thoughts.

My mind became a dark abyss, void of any thoughts or feelings.