A One Way Ticket To Anywhere (Complete)

The Pros And Cons Of Dying

Shawn Mendes sat on a rock by the side of a lake and thought about his life

19 years old, just out of high school with no hope of college

Owner of an apartment but no money for food or utilities

He wasn't sure who had designed this life for him, God, fate, the planets but whatever or whoever it was he was sure that he hated them.

An hour ago he had cycled his way to this part of the lake knowing the deep water and his lack of swimming ability would mean he would be gone from this earth before anyone had the chance to miss him and then he realised there was no one left to miss him anyways.

One year ago his life had changed forever, a dinner to celebrate his grandparents wedding anniversary had turned in to the last time he would ever see his mom, dad or little sister alive.

Instead of jumping into the lake he'd sat and cried, the hopelessness of his situation freezing him to the cold, rocky spot

He wanted to be away from this living hell, to be with his family but death scared him, almost as much as living scared him when faced with living his life all alone

He looked over the edge into the crystal clear waters. His hair was still brown and wiry, his eyes brown and sad, he immediately looked away, hating his reflection. Hating that it still lived and breathed when everyone that he loved did not

After his parents death his grandparents had sold the house Shawn was raised in and bought him a small apartment in town. The rest of the money had gone by the time the funerals were paid for and any outstanding debt was paid off.

Shawn knew the accident wasn't his grandparents fault and neither was the fact he ended up living in a tiny, smelly apartment on the other side of town but he couldn't help the bitterness that had taken hold of his heart and then spread through him like a disease until he couldn't bare to think of them let alone speak to them anymore

Running a hand through his hair he tried to formulate a plan, but what could a 19 year old with no money and no prospects actually plan for?

He had no money to do anything and no family or friends to ask for help. Everything seemed so hopeless and once again the bottom of the lake seemed so appealing

"Are you going in or are you just going to sit there?" Asked a rough feminine voice and Shawn was so surprised to find he wasn't alone that he almost fell off the rock into the water sooner than he had intended

"I'm weighing up the pros and cons" he muttered

"The pros and cons of swimming?" the girl laughed "Cons, its a pretty cold day so you might shiver" She shook her body as though she was freezing and widened her eyes as though being cold was the worst thing that could ever happen to you "Pros... it makes you feel alive and free and as though nothing bad can ever happen to you" She took a seat next to Shawn on the rock and he shook his head, how could she be that close to him and not be able to tell from his demeanour that everything bad had already happened to him, it was too late for the water to free him, his sentence had already been passed and he had been declared a condemned man

"I wasn't talking about the pros and cons of swimming I was talking about the pros and cons of dying

"Oh well that's an easy one too" said the girl, never skipping a beat, as though talking to a stranger about life and death was an every day occurrence "Pros, there aren't any, cons you're dead, so you never get to see another sunrise or sunset, never get to feel the sun on your skin, hear a song that gives you goosebumps, you never get to fall in love"