As Cold As Ice // Charlie Gillespie

Chapter 27

The drive to school was a little bit of a struggle. I guess the sleepless night and maybe the slightest hint of leftover alcohol in my blood weren't the best combination. If I could go back with the knowledge I have now I would have stayed in my room instead of taking the risk of driving. I know my condition isn't the best for skating either but I need the ice. I won't do anything big, just skate a few rounds. I need to clear my head. I lock my car and walk over to the school's entrance. It's 6:05am. I saw Mr. Williams open up at 6am sharp but I didn't want to seem that desperate so I waited in the car for a few more minutes.

The second I tie the laces on my skates and step on the ice I feel better. Sadly, not as good as I hoped I would but that was just wishful thinking anyways. A week ago the ice was my magical place where I could forget everything. No matter how stressed, sad or annoyed I was, the second I stepped onto the ice it was all gone but now it can only lift the weight but not remove it completely. For the smallest moment I catch myself wishing I'd never met Charlie but as hurt as I am right now I wouldn't want to give up the memories we made in the past week. He's grown to be such a huge part of my life so quickly, I can't imagine my life without him in it. But as of right now I guess that's what it is.

I put my earphones in and start skating, the music softly rushing through me. The longer I skate the better I feel physically. I can't feel the missing sleep anymore and I think the alcohol as fully worn off by now. When Fight Song comes on I can't stop myself from doing my program. I know this by heart, I know nothing will go wrong. I can tell I'm not as good as when I showed it to the others on Friday but considering my current state I think I'm doing quite well. When I start skating backwards to prepare for my salchow something in the corner of my eye catches my attention. As soon as I push myself up to jump I see Charlie standing a little offside, watching me.

I didn't expect to see him here and for just the shortest moment I loose my focus. That small moment is enough for me to loose my balance when I land back on the ice. I can feel a stabbing pain in my ankle and before I can do anything it gives in and I find myself laying on the ice. "Mia!" I can hear Charlie screaming but it feels like I'm in a bubble and he's outside of it. All I can focus on is the pain in my ankle. I've hurt myself before but it's nothing compared to the pain I'm feeling right now. "Mia!" I can feel Charlie kneel down next to me but I can't move, the pain is too much. Suddenly I can feel him touching my chin, lifting it up so I'm forced to look at him.

"It hurts." My voice is barely a whisper, I'm surprised he understood me. His expression is so full of concern, concern about me. I want to tell him I'm fine like I told my mum every time I hurt myself but it would be a lie. "Can you stand up?" I shake my head, close to tears. A single tear must be rolling down my cheek because Charlie softly catches it with his thumb. "It's gonna be ok." I don't know if it will. I can feel Charlie lift me up into his arms. He starts walking towards the barrier slowly, careful not to slip because he's wearing sneakers. Once we're off the ice he gently places me on the bench. "Let me have a look." He move to untie my laces. "No" I whimper. I'm so scared of the pain getting even worse if he does. "Mia I promise I'll be careful." I don't know why but in this moment I trust him.

After taking off my skates and seeing how swollen my ankle already is Charlie took me straight to the hospital. I begged him not to call my parents, they are probably still asleep anyways and I don't want to worry them as long as I don't know anything concrete. I know he wasn't happy but he agreed. The doctor examined my ankle carefully and sent me to an x-ray. Now I'm sat in a hospital bed waiting for my results when I hear a careful knock on my door. "Yeah?" Charlie pokes his head in. I can tell he's unsure if I want him to come in so I nod slightly. I'm still really hurt but right now I'm much more worried and scared and I need him with me right now. Even though the doctor didn't let anything slip yet I know it's bad. I know my body pretty well by now.

Charlie comes a little closer but then he stops a few feet away from my bed. He looks so lost standing in the middle of my hotel room. "Mia I'm so sorry." I shake my head slightly. "I can't deal with this right now. I just..." My voice breaks which causes Charlie to close the distance between us and wrap me in his arms. His touch makes me give in to all the emotions I've been trying to suppress. Between my sob I manage to say "I'm scared." I feel like Charlie's grip tightens a little, pulling me even closer, but I might have just imagined it. "It's gonna be ok" he says again, just like he did earlier on the ice. Never in my life did I want to believe someone more.