D for Depression [Mature]

Chapter 37: Where The Truth Lies

My feet feel cold against the marble floor of the bathroom. But I can't bring myself to move from my current position. I just stand there, looking at myself in the mirror and try not to cry.

That's the only thing I've done these past few days.

I wake up, take a shower, cry in there, then put some clothes on and move with my day like nothing happened. Like I didn't lose two of the most important people in my life at the same time.

Even though they are still out there, they are gone for me.

And what makes it even harder is that both of them don't seem to realise what they've done. Not my father, not him.

My dad has been calling me two days in a row, but watching how I didn't answer any of his calls he decided to text me instead. One single message.

''Don't tell your mom anything. It will only make things worse. I'll explain. I promise.''

Here's again the disgusting word.

Promise.

How can they use it so easily even though they know they won't keep it..It makes me sick. And tired.

I feel so tired. Of trying, believing...existing.

It's so hard to just exist sometimes. Harder than what people think.

And Jackson...well that's a different story.

''Daphne, your phone is ringing again.'' My mother says knocking on my bathroom door.

Truth is I haven't really talked to her. After what happened with dad I spent a couple of days at Bob's place. He was the one who came for me, while I waited outside Jackson's house. He didn't ask any questions. Just took my hand and drove me to his place.

Teddy wasn't there and he was kind enough to offer me his room while he slept in his roommate's.

When I finally came back home I couldn't bring myself to see her. It felt as if I was the one who lied to her and in some aspect, I was. Because even before my dad's message, I had already decided to keep what happened secret.

Right or wrong I didn't consider it. That was my way of protecting her from the heartbreak I went through. Because even though it was inevitable for her to find out the truth, at least I wouldn't be the one to hurt her.

''Just let it.'' I say behind the door.

It must be him again.

''Alright.'' She mumbles and walks away, while I wrap a towel around my body.

I don't want to hear him or see him for that matter.

It took three days to finally call me, making me feel even worse because at least in these three days I would think that she didn't tell him I went there. But the fact that she actually did and he chose to not reach out to me immediately...that was to me the most hurtful thing.

So I flipped him off. Let him taste his own medicine.

I've never been a revengeful person. But this time something changed inside of me.

I didn't deserve this.

They were wrong to me.

And I won't back down to make them feel better.

Neither him, nor my dad.

Leaving the shower, I take my phone from the nightstand. 25 voicemails. 15 texts.

''Great.'' I whisper, throwing it away.

My back touches the mattress and I'm well aware that I'm soaking it right now, but I don't really mind. I think of all the things that happened these past few days, how my world turned upside down once again and when I try to find something positive to change my mood, the only thing that appears in my head is him.