Kidarida

Untitled part

SN: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ If I would ever watch a movie with my girlfriend, of course, it will be Eunha lol

She tapped out and locked her phone with a heavy sigh. I shouldn't have followed her account, she thought. She rolled on her back and covered her eyes with her arms as Sana's voice rings in her head. She can clearly hear how the message would sound. Was I too late?

Dahyun had been struggling since the day she realized she feels something for the girl. The first few years she tried to fight it; tells herself that it is not what she thinks it is. But every time Sana traps her in an embrace, all the fluttery and shimmery feelings send her mind on short-circuit. Work. All of it is just work; she convinced herself every day - all the advances, skinship, and sweet words uttered by the older girl is just work.

But it is how they say it is. You cannot control what you feel, only the things you'd do with it. Dahyun wished she could blame someone for what she feels. Dahyun wished the circumstances were different. Dahyun wished there's truth in it.

"Dahyun-unnie...", she heard Chaeyoung call from behind the door with a light knock. "I'm coming in."

"Yeah.. sure"

It came to a point where she doesn't know what she's doing anymore. Chaeyoung was there when she broke down over feeling – if there is such a word – the pain when Sana avoids the advances she makes off-cam. She likes the feel of Sana in her arms. She likes the feel of Sana on her back. She likes the feel of Sana around her. She likes Sana. She likes her too much. So when Chaeyoung found her crying silently in one corner of her room, the younger girl knew right away.

"Are you okay?", Chaeyoung asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "I wish I know what to tell you, Unnie."

Dahyun smiled. "I'm okay. It's not like I didn't know... my place."

"Unnie." She lies down and joins Dahyun under the sheets. "She loves you too. Okay?"

"I know." I know it isn't the same. "I know."

Dahyun believed that everything in one's life is the result of how you chase after and work for what you want. Dahyun believes in hard work and persistence. She believes that you can have anything you want as long as you don't give up on it. She believes in effort and consistency. Dahyun doesn't believe in fate; until Sana.

"Just... don't think about it too much," Chaeyoung whispered.

----

"She's gonna melt like chocolate ice cream under those stares, Unnie."

"I'm not staring."

"Just respectfully looking?"

She remembered when Sana would suddenly come up to her and just envelope her in a hug. She remembered when Sana would play for a kiss and all the times that she tried to avoid it. There are not many of those recently. So Dahyun decided to take action and initiate contact every time she misses it. Turns out, she misses it all the time. And it doesn't feel the same when she does it first.