I ran.
I ran as fast as I could. I ran until my feet felt like they were going to fall off. A droplet slid down my cheek and fell into my already open mouth. It was salty and bitter. Rain? I stopped for a brief moment to analyze the situtation. I stretched out my hand to check the weather. Nothing. I then felt my cheek, more water was falling.. but from where? My face? Was I crying? I hadn't realized. I swore I would never shed another tear since that day. But it wouldn't stop and I didn't want it to. It soothed me. I fell to the ground and began to ball my eyes out. I rocked back and forth trying to calm myself down from what had just taken place. Flashes of the horrific scene burning into my mind. As much as I tried to push it away, it was determined to taunt me, tortue me, make me relive every. little. detail.
"Was all of this a lie? Some kind of sick joke? If it is, please explain the punchline to me because I don't get it." I screamed, demanding to know the truth. "Was all of this just fun too you?"
He continued to stay silent.
"ANSWER ME DAMMIT!" I couldn't take it anymore. I was hurt, I wanted answers and he stood there in what seemed like shame. But I can't forgive him. No. I won't.
He finally raised his head to look at me. His eyes. Those once pearl like cinnamon sprinkled eyes that were always filled with joy and laughter, were now determined and ready to kill. There was a form of lust lingering there. He started towards me. This seeming all too famailiar. This is how we met. He was ready to kill me. And I was prepared to murder him. I held the gun firmly in my hand, physically prepared to shot him but not mentally. I shot at the ground twice, hoping he would stop and see that I was serious. He stopped for a second and cautiously started to inch towards me again.
"Stop! D-Don't come closer, I swear, I will shoot you." I said shakily. Not even the least bit convincible. It was a shallow threat.
"No you won't."
He saw through it.
He finally completed his journey towards me and we were but a few inches apart. Only divided by the gun in my hand, that was now lightly on his chest.
"..Please." I requested defeatedly.
"Do it Devin."
"Please... I don't want too. I can't bring myself to do this.."
"Devin."
I winced. His tone was sharp, almost peircing.
"I can't.." I began but was cut off. "PULL THE TRIGGER DEVIN" "I CAN'T, PLEASE!!!" "PULL IT!" "NO!" "PULL THE DAMN TRIGGER DEVIN!" "NOO!" He quickly placed his hand on the gun and pushed it closer to his chest, placing his finger firmly on the trigger. I looked dead in his eyes silently pleading for him to let go.
"We could start a new, run away. It doesn't have to end like this.. it never did. Please. Just let go of the gun and let's get some ice cream!" I protested trying to lighten this mood that was becoming deadly. He chuckled a bit and his eyes began to soften giving way to his infamous smile. I loved that smile, it always calmed the raging storm that ached inside my heart. I knew then, that everything would be okay. He bent his head and tilted it towards my ear and whispered several words that will haunt me the rest of my life.
BANG.
