shattered

End of the summer.

I do not love you except i love you; i go from loving to not loving you, from waiting to not waiting for you my heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because its you the one i love; i hate you deeply, and hating you bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that i do not see you but love you bindly.

Maybe January light will consume my heart with its cruel ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story i am the one who dies, the only one, and i will die of love because i love you, because i love you, love, in fire and blood. ~Pablo Neruda

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I awake from the loud buzzing of my alarm its been two years since ive saw elijah, and next week i start high school. My mom says i need to get out more being inside to much isnt healthy. Sometimes i think she over exaggerates. I get up and walk to my bathroom to brush my teeth. Last nights dinner has my breath smelling horrible. "iris!!" My mom yells. I roll my eyes and spit out the tooth paste "yeah, mom" i reply slightly annoyed. "come downstairs and eat some breakfast, you need to get a good meal to start off a good day. Im taking you shopping!!" my mom says excited. "Ugh, okay mom." i say as i wash my mouth and walk down stairs into the kitchen. I take a whiff of the smell of the pancakes as i enter the room. "Mmm." i sit down. "Yes your favorite, momma wanted to cook up something special for a special day!." my mom says passing me my plate. "Thanks mom, why you so happy all of a sudden. Did your boss wink at you again" i let out a laugh from the blushing expression on her face. "No, i mean you shouldnt even know that little girl!" she says. "Whatever, mom. Im going to go outside for alittle" i say walking out the door to our backyard. "Hurry back!" i sit infront of a big tree and take my notebook from under the bush and open it to look at the picture of me and Elijah. God...i miss you. I think to myself on the rage of tears. "Iris go get ready! They're having a sale at Macy's" my mom breaks my train of thought And i walk to my room and put on a black veil brides t-shirt with black pants and orange vans. I go to my bathroom and put my hair up in a poney tail. I  grab my phone, and walk downstairs to the car and buckle my seat belt.

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Howd i do? This is my first time writing a book, should i continue? Let me know in the comments.
Bah-byes~essey cx