Yael | Ongoing

Chapter 4: Insecure

Sam.
8:30 PM

You got this, I thought, urging myself to believe it. Because if I could believe it, it could be true. I wasn't even downstairs yet and I was already as nervous as a fish out of water.

"Hey, man," I heard Charlie say as he poked his head through the door. "You coming?"

I looked away from him back to the mirror I was standing in front of. I took a long, hard gaze at myself and didn't know what to think. I was about to head into uncharted territory and it was all my idea. I couldn't bail, not this time. I was tired of running.

I pulled on the hem of the blazer, straightening it out. I held my head up high as a sign of courage. I didn't do it for Charlie, I did it for me.

"Ready," I uttered, walking out the door. I stepped out of Charlie's room and looked down the hallway. I couldn't see the staircase but I could see around it because of the red glow of the fluorescent lights coming from the bottom of the stairs. I walked down with Charlie just behind me. People were everywhere; on the corridors, in other rooms, and even on the staircase. I felt less and less ready as I finally got to the bottom.

"Hey dude," I heard someone say and I immediately recognized the voice. It was Grant, one of the undergrads at the University. He was Charlie's friend and they played basketball together.

"Just look at what the cat dragged in," I said as we shook hands. "I never would have pegged you as the partying type."

"Well, my Mom's been on my ass recently. She practically begged me to leave the house and go do something asides from playing basketball or Warzone."

"Warzone will change your life though," I replied.

"Man, don't I know it," he said, smiling and walking towards the kitchen.

The song that had been playing changed and Bastille's "Good Grief" took over. I had been to parties before and I wasn't very sure that the person who'd arranged the playlist for that night had. To my surprise, people who'd been sitting and wallowing at different sections of the living room began to gather in the middle of the room, cups in their hands, dancing and singing along euphorically to the music. An educated guess would be that they were probably drunk or high enough for it to sound like the best song they'd ever heard in their lives.

And, almost magically, like a flower that was blossoming as the petals opened outward, the group slowly broke and spread out and I saw Sharon emerge from within the huddle. She danced wildly and smiled, whipping her hair in every direction, her hands extended outward and upwards without a care in the world. Saying she was beautiful would only sully the true description of how she appeared at that moment. It was like something out of a myth or a fairy-tale. I just stood there rooted to the ground as she danced toward me and, without speaking or doing anything else, took my hands in hers and slowly danced back into the large group of people. I met her deep brown eyes with mine in the dim lighting and she gave me the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

It made me melt like butter from the inside out, and I returned the smile. She pulled me into the group and immediately we were in the thick of it, she wrapped her hands around my neck. My hands gently and slowly found her waist and the small of her back and together, we danced like it was the only thing that would ever and had ever mattered. I didn't understand why it happened the way it did.

All I could do was hope that that moment would never end.

Tinuade
8:54 PM

"Well, someone looks lonely," Charlie opined as he sauntered over to where I was, a little tipsy.

"Yeah, tell me about it," I lamented, checking the time again before looking up at his face. I noticed he was pretty. Not in a feminine kind of way but in the way girls could also be handsome. His face, his neck... He looked like someone had sat down and chiseled him down to look the way that he did. In trying times, he really was a sight for sore eyes.

"My date is unequivocally late, I'm afraid," I said, attempting to sound humorous.

"Awwn, don't fret. He'll show up."

"Hey, who knows? Maybe his absence tonight could work out for me quite nicely," I declared, allowing a grin to steal my face for a moment.

"What do you mean?" he requested, twisting his body so he could face me directly. He had a tee-shirt on and I could see his muscles move and ripple beneath them. I looked at his thick arms and hands, his biceps practically urging me to reach forward, to touch them lightly, just to see how his skin felt...

"Well," I coughed, erasing the thought immediately, "You know, it would mean I'm not on a date anymore."

"Yeah, it would," he said, smiling.

What's he thinking? I pondered. Is he interested in me? And if he is, why is he so forward about it? He's flirting with me. And it's so hot.

"I'm guessing you don't have a date," I inquired albeit knowing the answer already.

"No, I don't." He replied, sounding a bit defensive. "It would also be hard to manage all these hoodlums here with a girl on my arm at the same time."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

"Although, she doesn't exactly have to be on my arm. She can just be around, in the dwelling somewhere." He joked, smiling at me.

I couldn't stifle a giggle. He was funny and charming. And so damn cute that I could swear it had to be illegal somewhere. Focus, idiot, I reprimanded myself. You have a date. And he's also cute. And funny, I think. Just focus.

I opened my phone and tried calling Maxwell.

Voicemail. Shit.

I just had to wait it out. He was going to come. I hoped he would.