Before You Touch Me

Chapter Two

He isn't looking at me. He's sketching on his notebook. Now that he's not wearing glove I notice his fingers. They're nice and long. His legs are swinging outside of his window. He's so engrossed in his sketch that he doesn't notice himself swaying. I run to the window when he's about to fall out of the edge.

He grabs onto his window frame on the last second. When he's properly situated, he notices me looking at him alarmed. He's startled to the point where I think he's about to trip again.

He then stares at me again. He doesn't remember me. I mean how could he. He didn't look at me and I'm not in my uniform. An easy grin forms on his face, and I hate him for it. How do people smile like that? If people looked at me they'd just see me scowling.

He waves at me but I don't wave back. I don't want to be nice to him if he's going to be mean to me later on. I step away from the window and head downstairs. I heat up some lunch. I eat lunch alone on Mondays because I have therapy.

I started going two years ago. The hard part was convincing my parents. I don't blame them for hoping that their daughter isn't broken.

When I'm done washing the dishes, I grab my car keys and head out. It's a forty minute drive to my therapist's office. I sometimes wonder if my parents picked her because she's far away from everyone we know.

Dr.Emily Andrews. I read the plaque on her office door, waiting for my appointment to start. Almost as if she sensed my presence, Dr.Andrews opens her office door. "I'll see you next week Thomas." She pats the tween on the back and smiles.

When she spots me, she gestures for me to follow her inside. I walk and close the door behind me. "I think it's working." I take a seat on the couch. The leather reminds me of Mathias.

"What is?" She clicks her pen as she takes a seat on her chair.

"The exercise you gave me." I clarify.

"Why do you think it's working?" I hate when she does that. It makes me second guess if I'm actually making progress.

I clear my throat. "A guy at the store tapped my shoulder when I forgot a bag. I didn't panic when he touched me."

She gives me a smile. "That's great Lylah." The compliment reminds me of my mother's so I'm quick to crash it. "I was wearing a jacket though. So it wasn't skin to skin. I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

She nods. "Baby steps. You reached a milestone that in some point in your life seemed impossible. Take pride in that." I nod, secretly thanking God for not giving me the ability to blush.

"How your first day?"

"Eventful,"I play with my bracelet. "A family moved into the house next to us, but I don't want to meet them."

She's writing down in her notebook as she speaks. "And why is that?"

"Maybe if I hide away, my parents won't have to explain the big taboo."

She looks at me. It's a blank stare, but I know I said something wrong. "I know I'm not a taboo. My feelings and actions are legitimate and should not be patronized." I echo back her words from a few sessions ago.

Her smile returns. "Do you really think that meeting this new family will be bad?"

I instantly nod. "There's no 'will be.' It already started."

"How so?"

"Their son now goes to my school, and it's only a matter of time before he joins the rest in taunting me."

She stops writing. "Things are still bad at school?"

I realize my mistake. I always avoid the subject of school, because there's too many disturbing details.