Getting it Together after a Panic in life!

Panicking Is Never Easy To Overcome

After a half a day at work on June 5th 2013, I got a phone call. It sort of put a weird look on my face because I don't get phone calls at work, plus I had a cell phone. My supervisor walks in my room, I'm working at a daycare at this time. She has a mysterious look on her face as she starts to hand me the phone, she says "It sounds like your mom and she doesn't sound right". I'm looking at my supervisor as I grab the phone with my eye brows rising. I said, "hello" and my mom proceeds to say they found your aunt dead. I started crying, heart racing as I hit the wall several times stomping my feet. I was in total shock because I'm thinking to myself what and why? Why her, not because she was one of my closest aunt but who would do such a tragic thing to her. She would give you the shirt off her back. So, my mom goes on telling me she's on her way to pick me up, as my supervisor is holding me. I'm stomping, heart empty and panicking because all I could feel at the time was emptiness. And, if they murdered her will they come after her relatives?

All sort of thoughts at the time were spinning in my head. So, my mom arrives at the daycare to pick me up from work. I'm so exhausted throwing up and so so weak. We proceed to go back to my aunts where the crime scene was. When we got there it was so many people standing at the top of the road. I'm just starring off as if I'm in some sort of dream, at least that's what I wanted it to be was a dream. My body is just laying against the door of the car as if I was glued to it. When we parked the detective comes to the car, asks me to come with him to sit in his car. He's of course, asking me all these questions. To me it was like just a loud echo because my heart was still on who would do such a thing. After finishing the questions with him. We sat around the scene for a while and then finally off to home.

       When I arrived home to my two daughters who were with the neighbor at the time, I grabbed them and just held them tight. Pain isn't ever easy to deal with but pain from losing a love one only gets better with time. No, there isn't a time frame, but during the process of such a loss you learn to cope with it in your everyday life. I can say over the years, which will make 8 years this month of June 2021 I'm still shook but better. I think when June arrives its even worse for me because she was taken 2 weeks before my birthday. I never imagined in a million years that my life would be this way. I say this to let everyone out there know that you will panic, you will feel worthless some days. But the key to all of life's obstacles is to get it back together and beat your panics.     

           The End.