▶ Ouran Highschool Jake

{Starting Today, You Are a Host!}

KiSs KiSs FalL iN LoVe  HEy HeY

also the italics are the thoughts!
and the bold is the narrator!
This is a random Jake x Joshua with a ohshc au and with a few friends, anime doesn't belong to me!




-Birds-


-Chattering-


"hmm,,"


-door closes-


Joshua "This place has four library rooms, I'd think one of them would be quiet."

-continues walking-

"How are things in heaven mom? I cant believe its been 10 years already, I'm beginning to think rich kids only come to school to have a good time"

"an abandoned music room,,,"

-begins to open door- 

Joshua "I guess this is the only place I'll be able to study,, it would be so quiet"

-fully opens door-

-lol petals-

the 6 people standing there: "welcome!"

Joshua "When I opened the door, I found, the host club"


{Starting Today, You Are a Host!}

Only those with excellent social standards and all those filthy rich families are lucky enough are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school Ouran academy.

The Ouran host club is where the most handsomest boys with too much time on their hands who entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands.

Just think of it as Ouran academy's elegant playground for rich and beautiful.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tick, tick, tick

Joshua "augh- this is a host club!?"

Milo & Felix "Oh wow its a boy"

Emily " Milo, Felix I believe this young man is in the same class as you isn't he?"

Milo & Felix "Yeahh, but he's shy, he doesn't act any sociably so we don't know much about him"

Emily "hmp, well that wasn't very polite, welcome to the ouran host club Mr honor student"

Jake "WhAt! You must be Joshua!"

-Joshua tries getting out-

Jake "Your the acceptable honor student we heard about!"

Joshua "!, how did you know my name,,?"

Emily "well your infamous its not everyday a commoner gains interest in our academy"

Joshua twitches, "commoner"

Emily "you must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough and fight your way in this school as an honor student Mr Joshua"

Joshua twitches again, "audacious commoner"

Joshua "Well uh thank you I guess,,"

Jake "WELL your welcome! Your a hero to other people Joshua you've shown the world that even a poor person can enter at a private academy~!"

Joshua "!!"

Jake "It must be hard for you to constantly to be looked down upon by others"

Joshua "I think your taking this poor thing too far"

Jake "(idk what Tamaki says here-) that doesn't matter now, long live the poor! We welcome you poor man to our world of beauty"

Joshua "I'm out of here,,,"

Ash "HEYYY come back here Josh Chan! You must be like a super hero or something that's so cool!"

Joshua "I'm not a hero I'm an honor student,!! And who are you calling Josh Chan!?

Ash "AUGHHH-" -grabs off Joshua-

Jake "who would ever imagine the scholar would be so openly gay"

Joshua "eh,? Openly what?"

Jake "So tell me what kind of guys your into! Do you like the strong silent type? The boy lolita? how about the mischievous type? Or, the cool type"

Joshua "Eh uh,,, I uh, its not like that I was just trying to find a quiet place to study!"

Jake " Or maybe,,,, "

-Jake Grabs Joshua's face-

Jake "Your into a guy like me,, what do you say"

Joshua "EH- uhp-"

-crashes into le epic vase-

Joshua: breathes heavily

-tries grabbing vase cutely-

Joshua "EUAGHA-"

-vase crashes-

Joshua "ehoaa,,,"

Milo & Felix "awhh"

Felix "we we're going to feature that vase in an up coming school auction"

Milo "oh now you done it commoner the bidding on that vase was going to start at 8 million yen"

Joshua "WHAT! 8 MILLION YEN? ohh,, how many thousand yen is that,,, how many thousands are in a million,,, uhhh im going to have to pay you back right,?"

Milo & Felix "With what money? You cant even afford a school uniform"

Joshua "!uh,,"

Milo "what's with that grubby outfit you got on anyway"

Joshua "euuhhh"

Emily "well what do you think we should do Jake?"

Joshua "EUH!!"

Jake "There is a famous saying you may have heard Joshua when in Rome you should do as the Romens do. Since you have no money you can pay with your body, that means starting today your the host clubs dog."

Bark Bark

Awooo

Joshua "I don't know if I can handle this mom,,,, I have been captured by a bunch of boys that are calling themselves a host club,,"

Ash "poke poke?"

-Joshua falls over-

Ash "eh?"

{The host club is now open for business}

-music playing-

Girl 1"Uhm Jake what's your favorite song?"

Jake "What song? The one that reminds me of you of course"

Girl 2 "I baked you a cake today would you like the taste it?"

-Jake grabs girl 2s face-

Jake "Only if you feed it to me darling"

Girl 2 "ohh your so dreamy,,,<3"

-Girl 2 giggles cutely-

Ayanokoji "May I have a word with you, Jake?"

Jake & Girl 2 "hm?"

Ayanokoji "I recently heard the host club is keeping a little kitten"

Jake "heh I don't know if I would call him that"

-Joshua walks in-

Jake "speak of the devil! Thanks for doing the shopping little piglet! Did you get everything on our list?"

Joshua "what,,? Piglet,,?"

Jake "Hey wait a minute what is this?"

-Jake holds the instant coffee in his hands-

Joshua "It's just what it looks like its coffee"

Jake "I've never seen this brand before, is this the kinds that's already grounded?"

Joshua "what do you mean its instant coffee"

Girl 3 & 4 "It's instant?"

Jake "WOAH I've heard of this before its commoners coffee! You just add hot water!"

Girl 3 "I didn't know there was such a thing"

Girl 4 "so it's true then poor people don't even have enough time to ground their own coffee beans!"

Literally all the girls in the room standing "Mhm!!"

Emily "Commoners are pretty smart"

Milo "300 grams for 300 yen?"

Felix "That's a lot less then we normally pay,"

Joshua "I'll go back and get something else, excuse me for not buying expensive coffee,,,"

Jake "no I'll keep it"

Everybody "huah??"

Jake "I'm going to give it a try"

Everybody "HUH?"

Jake "I will drink this coffee!!!!"

Literally everybody "oooooo -clapping intensifies-"

Jake "Alright Joshua get over here and make some of this commoners coffee!"

Joshua "I hate all these damn rich people,,,"

Ayanokoji "Oh Jake I think your taking the joke too far you won't be able to stomach that crap you don't have to drink it just because he bought it"

Joshua "hm?"

Ayanokoji "I'm sorry I was just talking to myself "

Joshua "uhhhm"

Jake "Joshuaaa!"

Joshua "ehk- I'm commin"

-Joshua pours instant coffee in 4 cups and pours water in-

Joshua "Here-"

Jake "Let the tasting begin" 

Girl 5 "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff,,,"

Girl 6 "I'm afraid if I drink this stuff my dad would get mad at me,,,"

Jake "what if I let you drink it from my mouth~"

Girl 6 "w-well then I would drink it,,-

-The girls start squealing-

Joshua "This is ridiculous,,,"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Milo "Ehheh so he had this nightmare that made him bolt up right out of bed"

Felix "Milo,,, don't tell them that story >///<  I asked you not to tell anybody that,, why are you so mean to me,,"

Milo "I'm sorry Felix,,"

Girl 7 & 8 "oheh"

Milo "I didn't mean to upset you,, but you we're so adorable that I happened to had to tell them, I'm sorry,,"

Felix "I forgive you,,"

Girl 7 & 8 "OHH I've never seen brotherly love quite like that!!!"

Joshua "what are they so excited about,,, I just don't get it,,"

Ash "oh *yawns*, sorry we're running late"

Girl 9 "Oh hey Ash! Hey Dylan!"

Girl 10 "we've been waiting here for you guys! Hi!"

Ash "I'm sorry I was waiting for Dylan to finish his kendo meeting and I fell asleep mm"

-Ash rubs her eye-

Ash "and I'm still not completely awake,,,"

Girls 9, 10 and 11 "oh,, SO CUTE <3 EEEE Hahaha!"

Joshua "Is that what really makes you happy,,-?"

Emily "Ash may seem young and childish but she's a prodigy and Dylan is strong and silent position"

Joshua "ehmmm"

Ash "JOSHHH CHANNN!!!!"

Joshua "AHHH-"

Ash "Hey Josh Chan wanna come have cake with me?"

Joshua "Thanks, but, I don't really, like cake"

Ash "Then how would you like to hold my Bunny Usami Chan!"

Joshua "I'm, not into, bunnies,,,"

Ash "Are you saying you don't like Usami Chan?"

Joshua "uh,"

-The bunny stares into Joshua's soul secretly possessi- ehem-

-The bunny blushes cutely-

Joshua "I guess Usami is a little cute huh"

Ash ":o, Take good care of Usami ok! uehheheh"

Emily "You do realize that each of our club members have unique characteristics dedicated to our guests, just so you know Jake is number one around here he's the king, his request rate is 77%" 

Joshua "what's this world becoming too,,,"

Emily "and in order to pay off your 8 million yen debt you'll act as the ouran host clubs dog until you graduate, I'm sorry I'm an errand girl you can try to run away if you want to Joshua but just so you know that my family employees a private police force with 100 officers, by the way do you have a passport?"

Joshua "huhh-?"

-Jake slides in-

Jake "your going to have to work hard to pay off that debt my little s̶u̶s̶s̶y̶ ̶b̶a̶k̶a̶  nerd

-breathes in Joshua's ear- 

Joshua "O.o, please don't do that again-"

Jake "You need a makeover or else no girl or man is going to look twice at you"

Joshua "yeah well I'm not trying to get girls look at me"

Jake "Are you kidding me? That is the most important thing you have to learn about to be a gentleman to please the ladies like me ;)"

Joshua "I just don't think it's all that important"

Jake "Hm!?"

Joshua "why should I care about appearances and labels anyways? I mean all that really matters is what's on the inside right? I don't even understand why you even have a host club like this"

Jake "It's a cruel reality isn't it"

Joshua "(0-0u)"

Jake "It's not like god creates a perfect person like mwah beautiful inside and outside"

Joshua "Say what-?"

Jake "I understand how you feel as you we're not blessed as I was, you most console yourself otherwise how would you go on living, and think about this Joshua why do you think they put up works of art in museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world and those born beautiful most promote-"

Joshua "there is a word to describe people like him,,,"

Jake "I did it for those who starve for beauty-!"

Joshua "what is it,,,"

Jake "Those who work day and night for pursuing their beauty!"

Joshua "awe man I wish I could remember that word,,,hmm"

Jake "Here's a tip! when setting down a glass extend your pinky finger as a cushion and that way when you set it down you wont be able to make a lot of noise!"

Joshua "ehhhhh maybe a pain in the neck? no,, there is something that fits in perfectly "

Jake "so Joshua you must remember how affective a glance to the side can be"

Joshua "huh I got it!!" 

Jake "Oh don't-"

Joshua "Obnoxious"

-Jake proceeds to freeze and sits in the corner-

Joshua "uh oh I'm sorry Jake"

Milo & Felix "aheheheh your a hero alright!"

-Milo and Felix put their hand on Joshua's head-

Joshua "But he is a pain in the neck,,,"

Joshua "I'm sorry Jake but your lesson did strike a small cord with me,,"

-Jake gets up as dramatic music starts playing-

Jake "Really it did? Let me teach you more my friend!!"

Joshua "well he got up that quick,,"

Milo "boss-?"

Jake "call me king!"

Milo "We can teach him all the basics of hosting"

Felix "but he isn't going to get far with the ladies if he looks like that you know he isn't exactly host club material but maybe if we took off his glasses it would help"

Joshua "Hey! I need those I used to have contacts but I lost them at the 1st day of school