As Cold As Ice // Charlie Gillespie

Chapter 30

Even though I was really tired it felt like it took me an eternity to sleep. I just couldn't shut my brain off. Every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing either the picture of Charlie and Kaylie kissing or me falling on the ice. I kept tossing and turning, which really isn't comfortable with a fractured ankle. The longer I kept thinking about it the more I kept blaming myself. It was stupid to go on the ice after I felt how badly I was doing while driving. I really should have known better. I think it was already around 4am when I finally drift off into sleep.

"Mia, ssshhh, it's ok." It takes a moment for me to realize where I am and what is happening. I must have actually been sleeping because I feel a little dizzy. I can feel someones arms hugging me tightly, a hand rubbing my back soothing. I don't need to look to know it's Charlie. I would recognize his smell anywhere by now. "Hey, it's all gonna be ok." Why does he keep telling me this? What is he even doing here? Suddenly, my body gets shaken by another sob and that's when I realize I'm crying. Did I start crying in my sleep?

I take a deep breath to try and calm myself. Once Charlie notices I'm starting to calm down he moves back an inch, giving me a little space. I slowly lift my head to look up at him, feeling slightly embarrassed about having a breakdown I didn't even realize I was having. "What are you doing here?" I finally manage to whisper. It's still dark in my room so it couldn't have slept for long. "I heard you screaming so I came to check and found you crying." I don't remember any of this. What is he still doing here though? I kicked him out of my room hours ago. "Why are you still here?" He knows what I'm referring to immediately. I can tell he's nervous because he rubbing his neck. For a few moments he stays silent.

"I couldn't leave you like this. I had to make sure you're ok. I have to finally explain what happened. Mia, I'm so sorry you hurt yourself because of me." He said all of this so hastily, I'm having trouble to follow because I still feel so incredibly dizzy. The moment he said he blames himself for my accident was like a knife being pushed into my chest though. I know I blamed him earlier but that wasn't fair. It really was my fault. "It wasn't your fault." My voice is so quiet I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't hear me. I feel embarrassed about snapping at him like this earlier. Yes, what happened with Kaylie hurt me but that gives me no right to blame him for me acting irresponsible. When I look back up at him I can see hope flashing up in his eyes.

"Mia, please let me explain what happened." Am I able to deal with this right now? Do I want to know? "I don't know if I can." The hope that just sparked slowly disappears again. Would it help me to know what happened? He stayed here the whole night out in one of those terribly uncomfortable hospital chairs just to make sure I'm ok. He came rushing in as soon as he heard something was wrong. He did all that even though I yelled at him and blamed him for being in here. I guess he does deserve a chance to tell me his version of the story. "Ok fine." - "I know this is such an overused sentence but it really wasn't at all what it seemed like." I can't help but roll my eyes. "Seriously?" If that's what it's going to be he may as well leave right away.

"I really did go to the bathroom. When I came back out I ran into Kaylie. I had no idea who she was but she approached me as if she knew me. Said she needed my help. She said one of her friends was throwing up and she couldn't get her to the bathroom all by herself. I just wanted to help her out." Charlie pauses to wait for my reaction. What he's saying sound genuine and it wouldn't surprise me if one of her friends actually did drink a little too much but that doesn't explain how they ended up kissing. "She send me into that room but when I entered there was no one there. When I turned around she practically jumped me. That must have been what you saw. Mia, I swear I pushed her off. I was startled for a second but then I pushed her off. I would never do that to you." His voice sounds desperate, eager to make me believe him.

As if to underline it he reaches for my hand and against my better judgement I let him take it. The second his skin touches mine I can feel a rush of electricity flowing through me. "Mia, please. You have to believe me. I like you, a lot. I would never hurt you like that." Every inch of me wants to believe him. "Why would she do that?" - "I have no idea." I think about what he just said for a moment, letting it sink in. I know that Kaylie isn't my greatest fan. Would she go as far as this though? How did she even know Charlie and I were getting this close? Did she see us enter the party together? Charlie never lied to me so far, why would he lie now? "I wanna believe you, I do. But seeing you with her? It hurt Charlie. It really hurt. I haven't let anyone this close to my heart in a really long time and..." Before I can finish my sentence Charlie leans forward and kisses me and in that moment I can't do anything but kiss him back.