Of Heartbeats and Stardust

Of Vows and Promises

Wednesday afternoon, April 18th aboard the RMS Carpathia

It was a bit of a tizzy trying to explain things to the crew of the Carpathia and surviving officers to rewrite a new passenger manifest. It wasn't something that was done; it required questioning and rechecking. Harry took up most of the work.

He also had to write in the old passenger manifest Winnie's name. He felt awful lying and sneaking around, but he knew that without his help, they'd both be in huge trouble. What a headline:

Titanic Officer and Stowaway Caught in Affair After Sinking

After all was done, all the lies were told, all the officers fooled, Harry and Winnie stood in a little room away from everyone else. The only other person was a priest named Father Anderson. He had sworn to keep the marriage ceremony a secret.

Winnie stood in a baby blue dress a passenger had lent her, her hair in a braid, her eyes beaming, her cheeks a rosy pink, her lips a plump red. Harry was by her side mirroring her expression.

"I promise when we get back to my town you'll have a proper wedding dress and a proper ceremony," he whispered to her. She chuckled, taking hold of his hand. "There's nothing more I could ever want than this."

The priest stepped forward, a smile on his face.

"Even in the midst of tragedy," he started. " It is God's will some good thing can come of this.

"Winifred Cook and Harold Lowe, today you enter as individuals but you will leave as husband and wife. You will come together as one, to share experiences; hardships and pain. You willl dedicate yourselves to each other wholly to become one. From this moment on, you will begin to write a new chapter in your shared life; one of companionship and love.

"I understand you have written your own wedding vows."

Previously they had been facing the priest, but now they turned back to each other. Harry began.

"I haven't known you very long, Winnie, but I knew, from the moment I found you in the hay with those chickens, that you were going to affect the rest of my life." He chuckled, looking off to the side. "At first I thought you would ruin me; you would get me in trouble and we'd both be screwed. But when you first slept in my room, made a big deal about the shirt I gave you, I could tell the feelings would start to grow.

"Winnie, you made a dull voyage feel like the biggest adventure of my life. I don't think I've ever been as happy anywhere as I was with you. I've always been a man of discipline and respect; I'm cynical and sharp. But never could I think to be that way with you.

"When we began to act as though we were married, I lost myself in it. I tried to hide the way it made me feel by being distant, but you never failed to lift my spirits every time I got to kiss your forehead or hold your hand.

"When we kissed the day before dinner I scared myself with how much I felt. And it hurt me to no end when you pulled away. But every moment of that kiss I felt as though I could live an entire life with you; never tired and never worried.

"When you kissed me back that morning you brought me breakfast was one of the happiest moments of my life. Because, Winnie, if you would have rejected me the way I thought you had, I don't think I could ever live a full life.

"Winnie, I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you by my side. I want to braid your hair every morning and sit across the table from you. I want to come home every evening with you waiting for me at the door. I want to kiss you until my lungs can't take it any longer. I want to embrace you until my muscles and bones decay. I want to look at you for an eternity and even longer. I want every moment, every thought, every second and every day to be filled with thoughts of you and only you, until the day I can die by your side, a fulfilled man who had the pleasure to say he loved until he could love no longer."

He finished with a smile, his eyes crinkling. Winnie blushed back, biting her lip and looking away.

"Harry," she started, "I think I loved you since you let me go down in the kennels. I thought you had to be the nicest, most sincere person; if you were willing to let someone like me free. I never really had a good relationship with authority figures, and God knows I've had my fair share of scuffles with ships' officers, but you were the only one to be kind to me.
"When I lied about being your wife it was because, deep down, I had entertained the idea of marrying you as soon as I met you. I thought then that it was just pure fantasy but I'm so glad I was wrong. I felt so awful when I forced you to play along, or when I felt that I was embarrassing you. I went to the cafe without you once and tried to study how those rich ladies talked just so I could emulate that.

"Everytime you kissed me on the forehead or cheek when we were acting, I felt as if we were really married and I revelled in that. And when we kissed for real, to make my lips red, it was the most amazing feeling I'd ever felt. It was even worse when I had to pull away, because I felt as though I was cheating you. I thought, and still sometimes think, I don't deserve you.

"These past few days have changed my life forever, and even though Titanic turned into a tragedy, it remains the ship of dreams for me. When we get on dry land and handle everything with the Americans, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.

"I want to wake every day by your side. I want to make you breakfast like my mother used to do with my father. I want to go through every aching pain you do; I want to share your sadness and your happiness. I want to make you happy every day, because I love you so very dearly that I would gladly give up everything I've ever had and ever will have to stay with you.

"I was confused what love was at first, because you were the first man I've ever loved. But I remembered what a dear friend said to me once. She said when he's around my heart will beat so fast I won't ever know how to calm it down. When I kiss him I'll feel like I could stay that way forever. When he's gone I'll always think about him; so much that it hurts. When he touches me, my skill will tingle.

"And Harry, I feel that way with you. Not just after we kissed or when I told you I loved you. I felt that from the time I slept in your room on your couch. I love you, truly and wholly, and I would be blessed to spend the rest of my life with you."

She finished as well. All was quiet save for the sea.

The priest began again.

"Harold and Winnie, you have come here on your own free will and in the presence of myself and the Lord, have declared your love for each other. These vows you have exchanged will serve as a symbol of your promise until you have access to rings. By the power of your love and commitment and hardships together, and by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

There was a long pause and an exchange of awkward glances. Winnie and Harry looked at each other with suppressed smiles then at the pastor who was looking between them.

"Oh!" he said, hiding a chuckle. "You may now kiss the bride."