Welcome to the Shit Show

Chapter 5

Juniper

Red is such a lovely hair color and it comes in many different shades. It can range anywhere from a light orange like a peeled..... well, orange, to a deep burnished auburn that every tree in Fall envies.

The McCoy clan however, have a hair shade with a startling resemblance to a certain remake movie clown. Let me back-up a little for context. In Leona, Arkansas there is one family you don't want to mess with; The McCoys. The mayor......

*cough cough* pompous ASS *cough cough*

Please excuse me. I had some filth stuck in my throat.

Anyway, the mayor of Leona is named Jonah McCoy. Him and his spawn infect Leona like a parasite draining the community of free will. The mayor had six sons and two daughters, all of whom held positions of power in the town. His youngest son runs the newspaper. The Second oldest is sheriff with the rest as his deputies. Except for the oldest who followed his father like a lap dog begging for scraps. His name is Tanner McCoy the next in line to inherit all of Leona.

His daughters are less important, all they do is run the pageants. That may not sound like much, but they influenced the opinions of every mother, child, and pageant queen hopeful in town. Gossip was rampant with unfounded claims. All it took to destroy someone without any actual physical violence was a nasty rumor spread by the McCoy sisters. Gee, you'd think that a couple of women in their forties would be able to find a better use of their time.

Apparently the McCoys are direct descendants of the settlers that founded Leona over a hundred years ago. Their claim to fame was that their family produced 'gifted prophets'.

Ahhh yes, can you smell it in the air? The fine scent of bullshit.

Jonah McCoy couldn't predict a tornado even if it lifted his house up and dropped him in Oz. At least then the wicked witch would have another fine flying monkey.

I suppose I should go down the line of them in ordered detail.... just for records sake.

Jonah McCoy is currently 87 years old. He inherited the mayorship from his father when he was 43 years old. By that time he had already seduced and wed Susanna Reid and had 5 children with one on the way. I never saw him then but I can confidently say that time has not been kind to him.

He is a horribly stooped over lamppost of a man that looks kind of like a wax lump that got too close to a lit candle. Flesh always seemed to hang off him in morbid flaps, especially around the cheeks and chin. His once sparse red hair is now nothing but a few loose strands of whispy white whiskers. His eyes though, were the scariest part of his appearance. They were a soulless blue color that pierced the skin to search the soul.

His oldest son, Anderson McCoy, is the spitting image of his father, and every inch of him is just as slimy too. At least he knows what he'll look like in the future.... ew. His main job is being his father's second in command. He helps run the politics in Leona and resides over town hall when his father cannot.

The second oldest is Henry McCoy, and current sheriff of Leona. He's the one we need to worry about most, but I've only ever met him once so I don't know much about him. What I do know, however, is that he will do ANYTHING his father tells him to. Luckily I had managed to stay off of his radar until now.

Then we have the twins, Max and Jack McCoy. They enjoy using their police badges to terrorize the women of Leona. I've heard many unsavory rumors that they've even used their positions to tag team women that rejected their advances. Nothing was ever done though, gee I wonder why?

*cough cough* CORRUPTION *cough cough*

Excuse me I really need a cough drop right now.... or some bleach.