Natasha Romanoff x Reader one-shots [COMPLETE]

YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH [SATIRE] [TW]

This was made June 8th, 2021.... For the sake of this funny ass chapter I'm not even gonna edit it. Also i didn't know what satire meant at this time but now that I know the definition... THIS IS CLEARLY SATIRE LOL.

IM WRITING REQUESTS AS WE SPEAK BUT I WANTED YOU GUYS TO HAVE A CHAPTER SO HERE IT IS

Unedited 😃☝🏽 And I think this is inspired by another book

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You were sitting in your room, coming up with a plan. It wasn't, like, an evil mastermind plan, it was a prank plan. Yup, that's right. You were going to prank your wife, Natasha Romanoff. At first it was going to be a silly prank, but for some reason it got dark. It consisted of fake killing yourself pranks, or fake cuts, or someone killing you prank.

You don't know why you loved the dark stuff, and even though you always tried not to go to that dark place, it always found a way to come back to you.

After careful consideration (and 4 shots of tequila) you decided to go with a fake murder scene. You smirked as you ran into the bathroom, taking out the fake blood you carefully hid.

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After setting up, you admired the finished work. Blood stains everywhere, a bathtub full of blood, a bloody knife on the ground, fake cuts, gashes, and light, pale makeup on your body, an open window with blood drips on it. Everything was planned out perfectly.

You smirked and took a swig of vodka, "Let's do this," you thought aloud, rubbing your hands together. As you made your way into the bloody bathtub, you remembered that all the Avengers were here. Great, more of a reason to do this prank!

You positioned yourself perfectly, and in one breath, you let out a loud scream. You could hear everyone's shuffling to come up to your room, and you smirked as you laid still in the bathtub.

A MINUTE BEFORE

Natasha pov

I was currently plopped on the couch, tired from all the errands I had to run. Everyone was sitting watching a movie as usual, Peter snuggling it up with his girlfriend, Wanda, Tony and Pepper together, Steve with Peggy, Bucky with his girlfriend, Thor with Jane....you get the gist.

As I looked around the room, I furrowed my eyebrows, "Where's Y/N?" I asked my friends.

Tony faced me and shrugged, "I think she's in her room-,"

Suddenly a shrill scream sounded through the air. My eyes widened as I instantly recognized the voice.

Y/N.

All of us suddenly got up and ran to her room, bursting through the door. As we ran in, we saw the room a mess, blood everywhere.

"N/N? N/N, where are you?!" I asked, shuffling around the big room, trying to find her.

Bucky noticed the bathroom door slightly cracked open, "Natasha," he tilted his head towards the door.

I turned instantly and pulled out my gun, ready for any villian. I nodded, signaling for him to open the door, and when he did, I swear my heart stopped. I instantly shuffled into the room, trying to pull out Y/N.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I yelled as I pulled her onto the ground, her body in my arms. I saw the gashed and bruises on her face. She also looked really pale. As I held her, I noticed she wasn't breathing.

I screamed as I cried, cradling her in my arms. "Y/N WAKE UP! PLEASE! PLEASE! WAKE UP!" I shook her.

Everyone else had tears in their eyes, shocked from her body. I was the most traumatic one. The love of my life was gone...or so I thought.

Suddenly I felt tapping, but it wasn't from behind me. As I opened my eyes, I see Y/N, a frown plastered on her face.

"S-sorry..." she apologized. I gasp and pin her up to the wall, and without thinking, I slapped her.

I grew angry, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, Y/N? F-FOR A DUMB PRANK?! FOR SOME KICKS AND GIGGLES?" I pushed her as I let go and stumbled back, crying, "I THOUGHT I LOST YOU!"

"I'm sorry!" She tried to come after me, but I left to the front, before pausing. I turn back to see her heartbroken face, "Don't think about coming to bed tonight. You're sleeping on the couch," I said before I slammed the door.

I fucking hate her. But I love her.

2nd person Pov

Your eyes widened as you slapped your hand across your face. You looked at everyone who had disappointed looks written all over their faces. They shook their heads before leaving, except for Loki.

You gave him a confused look and he just sighed.

"Y/N, I may be the God of Mischief, but even that was too far," he commented before he shut the door softly, wiping his tears.

Shit. You really done messed up this time.

Dumbass