Tremont is Troubled

The Starbucks Effect

Brondon brings me into a small, stuffy gray room with those mirrors that are actually windows. Already knowing that, I purposely fix my thick, black side-swept Justin Bieber haircut in the "mirror".
"Woah!!! Who's that sexy beast right there!?!? That's right!! ME!" I yell spontaneously at my reflection. I've been a lady slayer since I was born. All the ladies just praise to me. You know why? CUZ I AM YEEZUS. Preach. Don't let me get into my zone.
"Please sit down and take off those sick sunglasses. Their swag is blinding me. OOOOHH. So much swag. I can't handle it!!!!"
Brondon is obviously jelly of me. Like, just look at me. I'm a king.
"No Brondon. That's not how I roll. My swag is too good. Let's just get this thing over with." I say this with such swag, that I popped my sweater collar and walked like a thug to the chair at the table.
"So, Tremont, do you know why you're here?"
"So you police people can learn about my swag and investigate it."
"No......let's take a different approach. Do you know this girl?"
He shows me a picture of Ashel.
"Well sir, that person looks like a hobo."
"No. Don't play games with me T-Nats!!!! You know that this is Ashel Parsnip!!!"
"Okay okay. I know who she is. And I'll admit that I killed her, but if you wanna know how I killed her. Don't ask me. I had marijuana bombs so, I was high. Good luck trying to get me to remember."
"Don't worry. We can get you to remember. Bring in the Starbucks!"
Oh no. They found my weakness. But the cappuccino that they brought in was different. It was blue.
"We have drugged this delicious drink with a pill that will make you remember what happened. If you don't remember, then either Tyrone or I will stab you continuously with a McDonalds knife for your crimes."
Tyrone suddenly walks in holding his knife.
"I loved her! Why did you have to kill her?!?!? Your swag is too real! And now, it has killed her. And if you don't remember, I will kill you and avenge Ashel, my little blueberry princess."
I look at the delicious Starbucks cappuccino in front of me and drink it. I immediately black out. OH NO!!! SWAG OVERLOAD!!!!! SWAG LEVEL HAS REACHED ITS LIMIT!!!!! DONT LET ME INTO MY ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!